Something Beautiful
Today I sat down in a café and wrote a blog. I was set to submit it and pressed the button to post…the whole thing deleted. I had just spent an hour and half or so writing this blog and felt good…then it was gone, absolutely gone. I was annoyed, frustrated. I thought it was a decent post, but I had to wonder if maybe God did not want me to post what I had written. I honestly did not want to write another post. I was like if that is not what I was suppose to write about then what? I came home (a.k.a. Casa Blanca) and felt a little defeated. So, after we had had dinner and did our chores I came upstairs and listened to music. Then I started to draw. I was thinking about the blog post, as I was thinking about it, I was looking at a drawing I did last week.
I could not capture the image God gave me, so I wrote about it instead. He gave me the image of His hand holding my chin up, forcing me to look into His eyes, His beautiful eyes. In His eyes, as He was looking intently at me, there was love and acceptance. I saw no condemnation, no hint of shame, no disappointment…I saw a love that goes so deep, it is endless. His eyes held hope and life. He saw me as He intended for me to be. He saw me as His beautiful daughter, I mean He SEES ME. I was seen and valued. I saw an eagerness for me to know how much He loves me, how much He desires me to walk in the freedom of knowing that I am HIS, His daughter. I saw how He wants to walk in the garden with me, to have fellowship and intimacy with me.
The God of the Universe desires to be so near to me, a small speck in the grandness of this world. He wants me to share my hurts, my disappointments, my frustrations, my hopes and dreams. He then wants to speak life into those areas. BUT what is even better is that He wants this relationship with each one of us. His love for us is so deep and the more I get to experience; words cannot do it justice. The word I love to use is beautiful. His love is full of color that is warm and inviting. It is free and safe. It is eternally satisfying.
This was a time in my life where I walked away from this view of God. I was trying to make God who I wanted Him to be versus who He is. This month He placed me with someone who reminded me of that time of life, and it made me so sad. I was able to see how we can put God into a box, make Him smaller than He really is. When we do that, we miss a beautiful opportunity to get to know the God if the Universe. We miss this Heavenly Father who desires to know us and for us to know Him as He is, not who we think Him to be. He is so much more than we could have ever dreamed, and if we take that leap of faith to let Him show us who He is, we will not be disappointed. It brings freedom, and an experience of love that words cannot do justice.
God has shown me this month that I have a hunger for people to know the fullness of Himself. I want people to know the truth about Him, I want people to know the love He has for each one of us. And that if we allow that love to enter our being, oh what a journey it will be!
Quick update:
I have been in Quito, Ecuador this month serving in schools and teaching English. It has been a beautiful month of spending time with my team and with God. Where we have been staying, we do not have WiFi so I can get it when I go to Cafés. I have loved it because it has caused us to be present and focused on where we are for the month. The house we are staying is amazing and the hosts are as well. I have been so blessed and honored by staying here.
I am still 2,000 away from being fully funded. I need to be fully funded by January. Please join me in praying/believing that God brings it in His perfect timing. If you would like to join me financially, you can click in the donate tab on the homepage ??
My house is still on the market, my prayer is that it will be under contract soon. I am trusting God with it and my finances!
Please be in prayer for my family, we have some trials that we are walking through. Pray for good, restored health and peace in where He has us.
