It has been a struggle to write a blog the past two months. I made excuses that I am too busy and I am not sure what to write, etc. I kept putting it off. The real reason is that I have not felt worthy, I have felt like a fraud to write on here. These past two months I have been busy with stuff, that I honestly could not tell you what it was, but I WAS busy…With all that busyness I have not made the time that I thought was acceptable to spend with God. So how could I get on here and tell you all about how great God is and all that He is doing when I was avoiding, not spending time with Him? Satan knows how to get me in that cycle. When I feel like I am failing in spending time with God, he pulls me deeper into this place of avoidance. And then it creates a bigger rift, which I allow to exist because I let that lie become truth for a time, I am doing enough or what I need to do. I KNOW that that is not the truth, that God loves me for Who I AM, not for what I have or have not done, but it is easy to fall into that trap.
HOWEVER, our Loving Father is ever faithful, ever true and so kind!!!!!!!
The lie that tries to hold me down is that I am not worthy, but my Father says that I am WORTHY. He LOVES me for who I am, not for what I have not done or have done. He desires for me to know that I AM HIS and that He loves me. He wants me to come and sit at His feet with ALL the failures, ALL the fears, and ALL the doubts. He desires to tell me the truth about all if it. What I believe to be failures He is using for His glory. My fears, He created me in HIS image, and it is like a Lion, not a kitten. He is brave and bold. He created me with a voice, and a voice that was meant to glorify Him. Satan has tried to keep me silent. But God, My Father, says daughter it is time for you to step into who I created you to be, bold and courageous.
So these past few months when I have felt like I have not done what I should to fund raise for the World Race, God has shown up in glorious, humbling ways saying daughter I have called you to this path and I have prepared the way for you. Trust me and obey my voice, walk in faith and I will provide.
I have received 1500, this past month from different people coming to me or receiving letters in the mail. I have not held a fundraiser other than the shirts, and so far I am right at 10,000 since January from pledges and monthly donations. HE IS FAITHFUL! This His provision and I am in awe and feel so loved by my Heavenly Father.
I love His love for me and how He loves us where we are and not where we think we need to be. He wants us to be Mary and to come sit at His feet.
I received my tent at the end of March through donations! My friends and I went on a backpacking trip to test out my year, it went pretty well.:)
I am planning on putting in another T-shirt order by the end of May, if you missed the first time around and would like to purchase one! They are 20 a shirt, comfy style, and feel amazing! I love mine:)
If you feel led or are interested in supporting me you can click this link and donate: DONATE!
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Thank you for taking the time to read this blog.
Love,
Courtney
