September 19, 2019
11:31 pm
HOME
Home: Where the heart is
It started as “the base.” In conversation you’d hear “when we get back to the base let’s make popcorn” or “when the moonlight hits the base, it looks absolutely unreal.” The squad saw this place as foreign land. A temporary resting place to lay our heads at night. A place where we would come, but not stay. A building with beds and a roof, but not home.
But as the week progressed and we fell into the routine of life here, the H word started creeping its way into our sentences, catching us by surprise, but bringing a sense of delight and excitement with it.
As the Lord started weaving each one of our hearts and stories together, He began to make this temporary resting place feel less temporary. He began to work in our hearts and our minds, showing us that “home” isn’t a building with four walls. Home is where there is community. Home is where there is eagerness to listen and readiness to grow. Home is your favorite place to stand and watch the sunset. Home is where the heart is. And my heart is here.
My heart is here with the kids at my care point who laugh hysterically at me because I just cannot pronounce their names right to save my life. My heart is here when my team and I look like fools wearing 8 layers because who new it would be freezing in Africa? Not us. My heart is here when my whole squad is dancing around in African church, singing the words to songs we don’t know, but loving every second. My heart is here at 5am watching the most beautiful sunrise I’ve ever seen while drinking instant coffee in my PJs.
This may not be my house in small- town Warsaw, Indiana, but here in Nsoko, Swaziland is home.
November 25, 2019
11:43 pm
HOME
Home: Where the heart is
I’ve been struggling to write blogs while being here in Swazi. I don’t want to write a blog that doesn’t perfectly encapsulate all that Swaziland is to me, and all the Lord has done through me so far on this crazy journey that I am on. I couldn’t tell you the amount of times that I have opened my laptop to write something, written & rewritten the same sentence a dozen times, and given up. I felt like nothing was going to be good enough, and I didn’t want to share something subpar about a place that will forever be engrained in my heart. I wrote the blog above after my first 10 days here in Swazi, but I never posted it because I felt like something was missing. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I knew it wasn’t complete. It was a draft that I put aside because it wasn’t enough. Now, with only 10 days left in Swazi and struggling about what to write, I decided to come back to this blog. And here is what I just realized.
Home is in fact where the heart is. Home is where you feel peace, comfort, freedom, excitement, warmth, and love. Although my definition of the word “home” hasn’t changed, the meaning of the word has. When I first wrote this, my heart was in Swaziland. Therefore I felt at home here. I thought that because my heart was here (a the carepoint, with the kids, watching the sunrise, on my bunk with my teammates), I felt at home. But now, that is not the case. Home is where the heart is. And now, my heart is with the Lord. I am able to feel at home anywhere, because I have a constant home that never leaves me. Whether I am in Swaziland, or in Thailand, or in Indiana, or in a porta-potty, my home never changes. Because I have found a constant home in Jesus, I am able to feel at home anywhere I go. Because He is EVERYWHERE I go. He is in the smiles of the children I get to hug every day. He is in the laughter of my teammate. He is in the rain that pours down around me. He is in the walmart employee that I see restocking the shelves. And because of this, home is never far away. Whether I am in my bedroom or across the world, I will be home.
I don’t have the words in my vocabulary to describe everything Swaziland has been to me. I wish I could write perfectly formulated sentences that encapsulate everything I’ve learned, seen, and heard throughout my time here, but it just is not possible. As much as I want to, I will never be able to put God’s glory into a blog and share it with the world. But I can share what I do have, and that is this: shift your gaze upward. hope in the impossible. seek a love beyond understanding. find your home.
