5 nights since the news, 4 days of traveling, and 22 hours in the air. This still doesn’t feel real.
For those of you who don’t know, Friday evening my squad & I received the news that Adventures in Missions decided to send our squad home immediately due to Swaziland closing their borders. Within 2 minutes and one email read allowed to us my whole life changed. In an instant I went from having 2.5 months left with my squad to our last night in swazi and 14 hours to pack up. I’ve never seen so many tears shed in one room like I did that night. As a squad, suddenly, we went from getting ready for dinner to grieving a loss we never expected.
For reference, since I haven’t written a blog yet, we’d been in Swaziland for 10 days. Honestly, they were the best ten days of the race. Swazi is a really special place. My soul was at peace their and our squad bonded in ways like never before. (More blogs to come on swazi soon!)
As I write this, I’m currently on my last flight with my squad back to the states. In about 8 hours we will land in Atlanta, Georgia. I keep trying to get it to click I’m my brain that this is it. That the world race is over. That this is in fact my last travel day with my entire squad. That in a few short days I will no longer be living with the family that I’ve lived with the past 7 months.
These Flights can be so long. I get anxious, my ankle swells more than normal, my legs get sore, I try to like movies, it’s just a lot of time. But this time has given me a lot of space to think. I so badly find myself wanting to cry but my body is still in shock. My emotions can’t catch up with my brain. So many thoughts, feelings and questions fill my mind – – why would God send us to swazi just to send us home? What am I suppose to do with the next two months? Does this discredit everything we’ve accomplished on the race? Will people only feel bad for us that we got sent home and forget to ask about what Jesus did in these 7 months? Why is the whole world responding to corona in such fear? Do they not know Jesus? Or, maybe they do but they don’t fully trust He’s a protector? Am I really ready to go home?
So many thoughts flood my brain yet one trumps them all. The Lord has been reminding me over and over again all He’s walked me through. Costa Rica, Cambodia, Swaziland and now He’s walking hand in hand with me back into America. I have this strange peace knowing that this was how our race was suppose to be all along. God isn’t phased by the coronavirus, borders closing, or by the world responding in fear. My race isn’t over just because I won’t be overseas, if anything it’s just taking off. We didn’t need nine full months. Everything the Lord had for us in Swaziland for this season was completed. I’m choosing to trust that. I’m choosing to not let the enemy convince me that this discredits everything we’ve done. I’m choosing to trust the Lord in this transition no matter how scary it may look because I know that if He’s sending us back then I must be ready for it.
So, America here I come. Two months early but actually right on time. Along with 22 other people crazy about this guy named Jesus. Ministry doesn’t stop when the world race ends. This is just the beginning.
See you soon, Oregon.
