Jeffrey’s Bay has looked a lot different than Swaziland in several ways. Jeffrey’s Bay has a laundromat, couches, coffee shops, and all other things I’ve taken for granted until now. I don’t have to check my bed for bugs each night, or deal with not having to keep everything closed and zipped. Before transitioning here, I was prepared to feel overwhelmed with first world living again, after going a month of what felt like living off the grid. I’m really glad we are in South Africa second, making us start the cultural transition sooner than we thought. Honestly, the first couple days had felt like a vacation, which was great, but I was eager to jump into ministry.
Along with things being different here, that included ministry. In Swaziland, there were two groups doing the same thing. Being in partnership with the Global Leadership School, we are being split into groups of 2-4, covering multiple types of ministry.
When the ministry options were first mentioned, coffee shop ministry, of course, stood out to me. It caught my eye even more after I visited one of the two coffee shops that would need help. I found myself holding such a tight grip on the “ideal” coffee shop, neglecting the other option before even seeing or hearing anything about it. I became closed off to any other ministry options in my mind. All I wanted to do was make coffee and be happy, essentially.
My heart was in it for all the wrong reasons, and I very easily lost sight of the reason for being here. After having a conversation about the different ministries with a teammate and our leader, I felt extremely convicted for how I was treating the whole situation. That conviction slowly turned into guilt/shame, but I knew that wasn’t for me to dwell in. I had a change of heart, and releasing my expectations was doable for me. I surrendered it to the Lord, and trusted that He would place me where He wanted me to be. Once all was said and done, I was assigned to the high school coffee shop. After the first day, I began to see things clearer about being positioned where I was. By the end of the week, I came to a place of being content wherever the Lord placed me.
The following week, I was offered the coffee shop I had wanted to be at originally, and the feeling of guilt and shame came over me again. I didn’t think I deserved being placed there after how my heart was at the beginning towards everything. I realized though, I learned a valuable lesson in it, and ultimately, the Lord still knew the desires of my heart. I wouldn’t have learned that lesson or received that insight on myself to grow.
That being said, I’ve been spending this week in the First Light coffee shop, and it has been such a happy place for me. I have loved the team there and the atmosphere. Here is an excerpt from my journal after making the ministry transition…
Releasing guilt for thankfulness
Accepting the blessing of the Father
He knows the desires of our hearts
He knows just what we need + when
Soaking it up—enjoying every minute
May I seek joy in every situation
Your goodness is constant—through good + bad
I choose to rest in your faithfulness
For surely you are good all the time
In this, I have been learning to find joy in every season, wherever the Lord has me. There’s purpose in all of it, and there is never a moment when the Lord’s goodness changes. It’s been a wonderful awakening, and my prayer is that it continues in the last couple weeks here.
