So, I’m coming at you from a North Carolina wooden table by the window, drinkin’ some peach tea, listening to the ambiance of lawnmowers outside, and THIS IS WHY I’M GOING ON THE WORLDRACE.
Prior to being asked to write a blog on why I want to go on the race, I had genuinely put no more than 90 seconds into the answer. Reason being, I knew that I knew that I knew the Lord had called me to this, and I was being obedient. So, I now, am intentionally pondering WHY exactly I’m doing this, obedience aside for a sec here.
SO YES, I am going to be walking into starvation, disease, prostitution, and poverty situations. I know these experiences are going to move my heart. Once you hold someone as they take their last breaths or you see the brokenness of the sex slavery industry, you can’t see the world the same. But, I want to walk in those places. The majority of the world is afraid to see those faces. But I’m not. I am willing because these are not just faces. They are people. They are not just hungry, they are people. They are not just living in a slum, they are people. They are not defined by their circumstances, they are defined by their identity. In Christ. I’m concerned about their souls. I want them to know what true love really is. I’m willing to cook all day. I’m willing to play with special needs kids with no home. I’m willing to hear stories in Spanish for hours when I speak only a touch of it. I’m willing to walk in and bend down; to offer myself as a servant because I have seen the Gospel flip my life upside down. There is no price you can put on the impact the Gospel can have on a life. Salvation is priceless because Jesus paid the price For them; for them just the same as me. My ultimate prayer for these 9 months is that what I experience will not only change my life but change someone else’s eternally.
Additionally, I know this is going to change my life. I want this to be a step away from my normal. I want to step away from what I’ve gotten used to. My business. My community. My possessions. Even the spiritual season that I’ve almost gotten comfortable in. All of it. I want to take a step back and get to know my Dad. He knows me intimately and individually- and some days I forget to live as if I know it. I get lost in chaos, anxiety, and honestly just all up in my business. I forget how much He wants to walk with me. I desire a deeper understanding of THAT Father’s heart, the one that’s been so viciously tainted by the brokenness and religion and fear. So, God, i’m begging you to break every box i’ve ever put you in. I want to see Him take me for a ride. This trip is His; it belongs to Him. I’m ready for him to knock my socks off. I know He’s going to.
And because I’m believing big, God, go and break the boxes I’ve put myself in too. Wreck the limitations and exclusions I’ve put on who I can be and what I have do in your Kingdom. I want to be more of the real me than I’ve ever been. He’s going to uncover things in me that I don’t know exist. I will learn to extend more grace and more honesty than I’ve ever had to. Sometimes, community scares me. A community like the one I am stepping into belonging into scares me because what if I feel like I don’t belong? What will people say when they have heard my whole story, see me make mistakes again and again, and what will people say when I am real and raw and broken as ever? The answer to that is, you know what, Brooke? They might just love you. They might just show you grace and patience and more of Jesus than you feel like you’ll ever deserve. Maybe, you’ll learn to receive and belong not because it always feels right, but because God ordained it. Because the truth is, I belong in the body of Christ.
in conclusion :
those are some of the things I want for this next year.
& here’s a promise to my team and my leadership :
I’m learning honesty and I’m going to use in love, never as a weapon.
I’m going to honor you like it’s my job (HAHA because it actually IS)
I promise to love you with all I’ve got in me.
(&& I PROMISE I’ve never looked forward to meeting a group of people as much as I wanna meet you in my LIIIFEE !! SEE U IN GA KIDS!)
& here’s a prayer :
God,
Keep preparing my heart.
Go ahead, knock my socks off. Break all my boxes.
Take my surrender, and go running.
Teach me to take my freedom and dance to the sound of new life.
I promise to do my best. I promise to be teachable. I promise to let go of more every time you ask me to.
& here’s a bible verse for this wild thing :
1 Peter 2:9-10 (The Message translation to add some emphasis!)
But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted.
this right here is what I’m all about when it comes to this year.
the verse God has given me AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN for the race.
SO THAT’S A WRAP FOR THIS BLOG Y’ALL.
I’M IN A SUPER BIG NEED FOR MONTHLY SUPPORTERS (PRAY ABOUT IT!!!)
THANKS FOR YOUR EYES, EARS, & PRAYERS (as i try to prepare!).
ALL MY LOVIN’
-B
