This past weekend I went with my church on our annual winter youth retreat, and it was probably the most fun I’ve had on a retreat. We played blacklight dodgeball, 9 square, we went swimming and played chicken, it snowed, we had small groups, we had a worship team travel in to lead us. There were just so many factors that made the weekend incredible. Not to mention I will be missing next year’s winter youth retreat and summer retreat.
This year was my “niece’s” first retreat. She’s a fresh 6th grader, and I had the honor of being at her first youth retreat. I was planning on watching over her all weekend and was worried she’d avoid me, but every chance she got she’d come over and sit on my lap and cuddle up with me and talk with me for a second. She makes my heart melt. Here’s baby girl and I on Sunday morning before heading home-we’re both exhausted.
Now, Abby made me so happy when she’d come over and sit on my lap. It reminded me that she still loves me, and while to her I may only be her babysitter, I’m still a comfort to her. I’ve known her since she was 2 years old, and I’ve always babysat her and her sisters.
It reminds me of how happy God must get when we visit with Him. When we make a point to take a moment and visit with our Abba Father – our daddy. How it must make Jesus smile when we run to Him with whatever is going on; whether we’re happy, sad, excited, angry, etc. He should be the first thing we run to every morning, and the first thing we seek out.
Our youth pastor Brian spoke on being consumed over the weekend. Being so consumed by Christ that you set a flame to those around you. Being so consumed that nothing puts out your flame. Over the weekend I saw so many students catching that fire, and it was both incredible and inspiring. So many young lives being transformed, and watching that flame slowly burn into an unstoppable, raging fire.
I want to be like that again. I realize I’ve simply become comfortable in my place with God. I’m just a candle, calm and small, occasionally crackling and flickering when wind comes my way. I don’t want to be like that anymore! I want to be a roaring, raging fire like the one I saw over the weekend. I remember when I was young and at a winter youth retreat, Jesus was WITH me. Like, I was ON FIRE. Life was great…for like, a week. Eventually I would kind of fizzle out, and even as an adult I feel that.
I feel like I was so affected over the weekend, that God was talking to me and things were beginning to make sense. Yet now that I’m home I feel alone and I hear silence. But like I tell my students, I have to remember that trying is on me. I have to make an effort to keep that flame alive. You can’t just start a fire and expect it to stay strong because it started out strong. Fires require maintenance, and that really is the same as our walk with Christ.
I’m so thankful for my other youth leaders, pastors, and the students for making this past weekend the best for me to remember! I remain so inspired by my students and their fire for God, and I pray that they stay so strong like that.
