Three weeks ago we arrived in Quito, Ecuador, my new home. I remember the night we arrived and were met by Fabi, our host. He brought us back to the base where we were given real pillows, blankets, towels, and our own laundry room, which we didn’t have in South Africa! Our house here is comfortable and homey. It is two stories high and contains nine bedrooms. Our two favorite rooms in the house are downstairs: the living room and the kitchen. In the center of the living room, there is a huge fireplace, which we light by burning extra wood and pizza boxes. In the corner, we had our own little Christmas tree that we decorated with popcorn string, paper, and plastic ornaments, a handmade star and a Christmas beanie that my teammate bought at the market. It had no lights, but we loved it and it made this house feel a little more like home. The kitchen is connected to the living room and that’s where a lot of the late-night conversations happen, usually while someone is baking cookies or brewing coffee. We always have a little background music to set the mood.
When I woke up that first day, I was so in awe of the city. The view from the base is incredible. South Africa was beautiful with its white beaches and crystal clear ocean; Ecuador is beautiful in a completely different way with houses that cover every part of the mountains and valleys. We had been in Ecuador for less than 24 hours when we began to explore the community around the base. That’s when we met Carlos, the man who owns the pizza shop up the hill, on what we call “The Strip”. Next to Carlos’ hole in the wall pizza place is the Tamale shop. The owner’s six-year-old son, Thomas, is the sweetest and kindest little boy. He loves to be held and makes the weirdest noises but from the first day we met him we knew he was a keeper. Then on the corner of The Strip is Mariano’s empanada shop. From those first encounters with these people, we have begun to build relationships. For example, a couple of days ago was Mariano’s birthday, so we bought him a little cake and sang happy birthday to him. And just today I sat in the tamale shop with Thomas on my lap while we watched a Spanish tv show. These locals light up every time we call them by name and say hello. They extend generosity and usually give us something for free. Now the long public bus rides to ministry, the view of thousands of square houses built on cloud-covered mountains, the late nights with my friends talking and laughing while drinking hot chocolate have all become the norm.
We arrived in Quito on a Saturday and by Monday we were all spreading out over the city to start our new ministries. My team and I are working at a rich high school in the mountains. Every day on the way to and from the ministry we get to drive past the valleys and oversee the whole city. One day we were literally driving through the clouds as we drove to school. On the way back home we take the public bus where you can usually count on someone trying to sell you something. Other teams are working with special needs kids, assisting with a before and after school program, helping Venezuela refugees, and working with Cru. My job is working as a high school English teacher.
Honestly, when I first learned about our new ministry I was less than thrilled. This was not what I had signed up for. I wanted to be working in the villages, living in my tent, getting dirty from playing with kids, and seeing miracles. Instead, I am working in a rich high school teaching English. We actually have to be well dressed for our ministry, and I only packed one dress. When I signed up for the Race, I thought that I would be doing the things no one else would do, living radically. I tried telling myself that everyone needs Jesus, even rich high schoolers, but at a heart level, I was so discontent. After a week of working at the school, it felt like I was in high school all over again. Following around a teacher for eight hours and getting lost a lot of the time because I didn’t know the schedule, trying to communicate with kids who hardly speak enough English to have a full-on conversation, and trying to teach grammar out of a textbook that is wrong a lot of the time and was written by Spanish people, how was this God’s plan for me? I finished the week honestly wondering if I had made the right choice to do the Race and if I had really heard God’s voice or if it had just been my own desire. I loved working at Ithemba and I loved South Africa, but I thought I would get some diversity. Now I’m in a new country and I’m back to working in a school. I was feeling disappointed with my race, so I decided to talk with my Squad Leader about everything I was feeling and she asked me one question that turned everything around. ‘Are you giving God space to move?’ or something like that… The truth is I was so bitter about having to work in a school again- when I took a gap year to get away from school- that I was disappointed when my expectations weren’t met. I was frustrated with my ministry hosts who weren’t communicating well, and in the midst of all of it, I was upset with God for it all. When she asked me that question, it forced me to push aside all of the things that frustrated me and try to see where God was going to use me, to see what God was doing, and to trust that he had a plan for me right where I am, even if it is not what I wanted. The next day, in my morning devotions, the Lord spoke Jeremiah 29:11 over me. “For I know the plans I have for you, Ashlyn, plans for good and not for evil, to give you hope and a future.” Since then it has been a constant journey of trusting him. As my perspective changed, I started to see how I could build a relationship with my teacher and minster to him. I saw how simply trying to learn Spanish from the kids showed them Jesus and how he wants to know them. I have seen how learning the kids’ names and asking “Como es tas?” makes their day. I have had such sweet moments with the Lord as I put my life in his hands and let him show me what he’s doing instead of blindly trying to see for myself. Working at the high school is hard and it’s not what I would choose, but the Lord placed me here and it’s my job to step back and let him use me as an instrument for his work. I’m just along for the journey.
For the holidays my squad and I all went further up into the mountains to a ministry called Dunamis, which means dynamite. It is a light on a hill. We were literally tenting on the side of a cliff. Surrounded by horses and cows and a stunning view of farmland during the day and the lights of the city at night. Dunamis is a refuge for girls 17 & under who are victims of human trafficking. When we were there, we did construction work. We mixed, carried, and poured cement into columns to build a house on the property. It was hard but so fulfilling as we saw all of our work come to completion on the foundation. Every morning we went into a small town and got to interact with the kids in the community. It was so sweet to see the kids waiting for us to pull up in the back of a truck. We danced with them, played soccer with them, wrote in the sand with them, and just loved them.
For Christmas, I spent the day with my teammates. We exchanged gifts and watched tv together. It was very different than my Christmas at home and I struggled with that. I felt homesick and missed my family and friends who I knew where all in Thailand without me. That’s one of the things people don’t tell you a lot about the race. It’s life. There are good and bad days. Some days you have an amazing God experience but somedays you stay at home and watch TV and miss your family.
Life. It keeps going whether you want it to or not. We are another year in life. New Year’s Eve on the Race was like any other day until about 9 PM. That’s when the party started. Everyone was dancing and celebrating the year. We had wigs and glitter to dress up. We got to stream Passion City Church and when the clock struck twelve, we were worshipping alongside thousands of people in the States. Some of my teammates bought confetti poppers so the floor was covered in confetti as we drank our sparkling grape juice and embraced our brothers in sisters in a choir of “Happy New Year’s!” That was our last night at Dunamis, so we woke up in 2020 and said goodbye to our new friends as we headed back down the mountain to the base.
We have been home for four days now and as we did some other miscellaneous ministry: painting walls, pruning vines, gardening, washing windows, and organizing storage rooms, I had a lot of time to reflect over the last month. At the beginning of the month, I had to say some hard goodbyes to my new family in South Africa (Wendy, Lehanie, Mulder, Nikki, Sange, and Chandre), the transition from a place I loved and a ministry I adored to a completely new and different place was really hard and I found myself for the first time grieving a place I had left. Then we started a ministry and I had to trust God and his plan for having me where I am. I had to trust God with my future and the unknown that awaits in a couple of months once this journey comes to an end. What’s next? “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to give you a hope and a future” ( Jeremiah 29:11) is his response. I had to trust him with friendships on the Race and trust him with my family when I couldn’t connect back home when I wanted to. I had to trust him with teammates going home and trust that he has a plan for them too. Let’s just say I’m in a season of learning to trust my Heavenly Father even when it hurts and it’s hard to not be in control of even my own life. That’s one of the things I’m leaving behind in 2019… control. I’m striving towards complete surrender.
Before I left South Africa, one of the members of the church shared with me this vision he had of me walking into the ocean with my jeans on. He told me that God wants me to follow him, even when I don’t think I’m ready, even when I don’t expect it, even when I didn’t bring my swimsuit. I tried it one day. I walked into the ocean with my pants on and it was hard. The waves push and pull you. There were rocks at the bottom that make it impossible to keep your balance. It was uncomfortable as my pants stuck to my legs. I think that’s where I’m at right now. I’m being called to walk into the deep waters and trust Jesus. He is showing me that I can’t do it on my own. Sure, trusting Him can be uncomfortable and scary, but when I lose my balance he is right there holding me. So here’s to the deeper waters that God is calling me into in this beautiful city in Ecuador that I get to call home.
