This is a continuation of why I am going on the World Race, a deeper why. I feel like that blog did not fully convey how grateful and excited I am for World Race.
I am not only on World Race because I got to say yes, but because God is greater. Despite all odds God made this happen. He showed me how he works and how deep his love is for us. He surpasses any worldly ideas.
This blog is here because I want you to understand how big of a deal it is that I am actually here at this place, sitting on REI for hours ordering gear, packing my things, having lasts moments, that I am praying, raising money, getting ready for life away from everything comfortable for 9 months. Despite all odds and the work of the enemy pulling and tweaking my life one way and another. I am here. I am going. This to me is a tiny example of a miracle.
You see two years ago early summer I was scrolling through instagram and World Race somehow had popped up onto my feed. For hours and hours I took the time to look through the whole instagram, watch youtube videos, put my email into the website for updates and take the online quiz, pretty much anything world race I stayed up that night looking at. I saw it and immediately knew “This is for me.” It was something I wanted to do. So, I asked and I asked and I asked. I brought it up in every conversation imaginable. I drove my parents absolutely mad and if they tell you I didn’t they are lying.
I don’t think they were ever too fond of this idea. I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. That they would never say yes. I was so confused as to why I could not get a yes. So, I gave up. I fully let go of the idea that I had dwelled on for over a year. I applied to colleges, and it didn’t feel right. I got into my top 3 schools, it didn’t feel right. I got the scholarships I wanted, it still didn’t feel right. I could not wrap my head around this offsetting feeling of why college felt so wrong for me. I kept thinking I would be good at it. School, I am pretty good at. Social, yeah I can do that. Going through each point of what I thought college was about. I did this almost every night, with every email, and piece of mail I received. I continued to convince myself away from the gut feeling of this is not right.
Until December 30th 2018, the last day I could go to church before the new year started. If you read my About Me you have already heard this but there was a guest speaker at church that day. His message was based around having a secret place with God. Yet, our faith isn’t centered in one place. Get up and go and leave your troubles and fear at the door. Run with your faith. Dig deep. Carry it with you no matter where you are. Step out of your comfort zone. This day I cried a lot. I was confused as to what I was supposed to do.
Do I please everyone with college? Do I go where I feel like I am not supposed to belong quite yet? Or do I leave my troubles and fear at the door and take my faith with me? Do I try one last time for World Race?
So I tried again.
At first I was doing it under my terms again, begging, and working it into every conversation imaginable. Driving my parents onto their last straw once again. Until one day, I woke up at 5 am and went to 21 days of prayer (prayer my church offers at the start of every year for 21 days). The only morning I could wake up early enough and go before school. The service was all about giving it to God. Not controlling the situation and letting God handle it. Therefore, that’s what I did. I gave it to God. It was all on Him now. My thought process was if I am not meant to go then He will have my parents say no and if it’s His will I will be all in.
Weeks and weeks went by. I was getting frustrated and all my friends were pretty much decided on what they were doing. I had waited all through February still no answer. I started to doubt it was for me anymore. I even confirmed my acceptance into App State and UTK, while introducing myself to girls who could be my future roommates. I thought as if I could never convince my parents. Until, March 5th came. My birthday. I wasn’t expecting any big present. I wasn’t in any hurry to get home that day. I truly just thought of it as an ordinary day. That nothing in my life was going to change. Though, when Georgi, one of my really good friends, and I came home my mom and dad had set up a present on the counter. It wasn’t a very big bag, but my mom had said there were different parts to it. I didn’t think much into it. The first thing I opened was a wall decoration that said, “Let your faith be bigger than your fear.” Then a water bottle that said,” And so the adventure begins…” Lastly, I turned around and opened a letter that read, “World Race 2019!” Tears streamed down my face. God’s faithfulness to us is so real. He took my parents from a strong no. A no that was done with even hearing the words world and race in the same sentence. A no that was so far no that it could never be yes. But there it was. My answer. YES.
I got to say yes to God’s plan that day. I got to witness his intricate design for our life and how he shows his love for us. The tears of joy that streamed from each of my family member’s face is a moment I will never forget. God is greater. He is greater than any worldly idea and his plan will always prevail. World Race has already brought so much life and happiness in my life and I cannot wait to see what it does for me over this next year. God is faithful. Give it to him and he will always come through.
