The past week, we had another squad come and stay with us for what was supposed be a week, but after some of our people got sick we had 2 weeks together with 10 sicky people. We cleaned out throw up buckets, gave the medicine, took shifts through out the night to check on them, fed them, and tried our best to love on them. With all the sick people and just taking people to the doctor and what not, I have been up late and up early and really just all the time. And if anyone knows me they know I don’t really thrive without at least a good 8 hours.
But recently I have been up and just so close with the Lord and myself. And in those moments I have clearly been hearing the Lord speak:
“In the 12th hour you hear from only me”
I have thought about this for a while and I finally realized what it meant. Sometimes in life we are dead tired, in more than just the physical way. We are hearing lies, fighting battles that are physical, financial, social, you name it its there. And in those moments of low energy, our spiritual muscles sometimes tend to give way and its easy to hear the voice of the enemy.
Its fitting because the 12th hour or the last straw is usually a place of such vulnerability, sleep is attacked, thoughts are attacked, and everything just seems to be getting darker. And you get to a place where it feels like “oh my gosh I can’t remember a time where it wasn’t like this.”, or “it will be like this forever”.
Hope sometimes is robbed. Which is fitting because the purpose of the cross is Hope.
The Lord has been walking me through Hope, and it’s kind of a grit type of thing. It’s a choice that even when it is dark you can find the light shining from the splendor of the face of the Lord.
In the 12th hour I have been hearing from the Lord because I realize he is the only energy I need, and the only savior I want. I realize that he’s the only hope for any and every situation.
The Lord has been strengthening and affirming my most vulnerable spiritual muscles, he’s fighting for me, but this time I look to him instead of people, or tv, or food, or working out to satisfy me.
In the 12th hour I go and shut the door behind me, because I know that on my knees in prayer is where I will find the hope to stand in the morning.
