As most of you have heard, our squad is going home due to all the changes happening around the world with the Corona virus.
Right now, I am in the Colombia airport waiting to fly to Georgia. And as I sit here watching the sunrise, there are so many different thoughts and emotions running through my brain.
I am really excited to go home to America because the Lord is bringing revival there. He’s bringing 100’s of missionaries to the states and when we land, the ground will be shaken by the Lords presence.
But this time is a time of such mixed emotions. Everything has happened so fast. Yesterday I found out we were leaving the field, then I found out when our flights were, but the biggest blow for me was leaving my community.
I didn’t realize that it would be so hard to leave the 24 people I have been living with for 7 months. Honestly, this was such a shocking blow because I thought I had 2 and 1/2 more months with them. I realize now, to leave them in the physical, I might have never been ready for that.
I can honestly say this is the first time in my life I have had a group of people my age that I have chosen into. I chose to love them, to serve them, to know them, but i also chose to be loved, served, and known by them. For me this was the ultimate form of vulnerability that the Lord has called me too.
But as I’m sitting here reflecting on the past 7 months I have realized a couple things:
I have a beautiful family within these people, because of the Holy Spirit in us. Our spirits can not be divided no matter the distance.
I have grown so much the past 7 months I can say with confidence, the Angelica touching down in the states is not the same one that left 7 months ago, I am equipped and ready to be home because of the good work the Lord has done and will continue doing in me.
I have such a passion to go to the nations, but I can’t neglect and forget about my own. America needs Jesus too. America needs hope. America needs peace. Don’t worry the Lord is sending 100’s to be ambassadors of his presence.
And finally, I realize I have been on this race not so that I could be entitled to 9 months of traveling the globe, but so I can give my yes to the Lord, trust fully in him, so that his will be done and that his glory would shine. I have been on this race to teach me and help me to run the race of my life with Abba.
Coming home is definitely hard, I am going to miss the field a lot. God has created so many beautiful people and beautiful places that I love to discover and serve.
But sitting here and realizing that these places are just places without the Lord, leaves me with the hardest part of coming home: saying a “see you soon” to my family.
What a privilege it was to live in community for 7 months. A space where the lord refined me, tested me, and taught me. It wasn’t always easy, or pretty, but because we wanted the Lord so badly we always chose unity.
I want to thank this community for supporting me, for loving me, for pushing me to look more like Christ, for crying with me, laughing with me, but most of all choosing me to be your family.
This for me is the hardest part of coming home so soon, I thought I had all this time but I don’t. Looking back there isn’t one thing I regret. Our time together was ordained by the lord from the beginning of time. And now this time of going home and scattering across America is also ordained by the Lord.
We may not understand but the Lord had this planned when we signed up for this thing.
I am so excited to see how the Lord uses not only my squad but all the squads coming home to burn for him, and to spread his presence and love faster than this Corona is spreading.
As much as I would love to live with my family for another 2 months, it’s time. Time to step into deeper trust with the Lord knowing that he is there when you get home, but it’s also time to step into deeper community with each-other as a body of believers to continue being the church even if we are miles away.
So now I commission us all…
to GO and make disciples of all nations, but especially now, make disciples in OUR nation! Baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey all the commands I have given you. Surely, I will be with you until the very end of the age.
Matthew 28: 18-20 (with a gel twist)
AMEN!
With tears in my eyes but joy in my heart, thank you all, and I love you all, the Lord is going with you, but you know I will be in Jersey if you need me.
See you soon,
Gel
