Two words that don’t really go together huh?
Lately, God has been showing me who He is, but also showing me who I am. It’s hard to live life when you don’t know who you are. I thought I knew who I was. A tough, competitive, hard-working, and silly Latina who loves her coffee and extra cheddar goldfish(not together). I sing on the worship team at church and I absolutely love to play soccer.
Today in listening prayer, we were writing love letters to God. Learning to see God as a perfect husband is different but really beautiful . So I wrote and he wrote back to me.
My Beautiful Angelica,
What a treasure you are. A Ruby. How delicate yet fierce. You can’t even begin to imagine the ways that I love you. I love every broken piece of your heart. I look at you and see the true master piece that we are painting together. In this life my favorite thing is to dance with you, to hold you close to me, kiss your forehead, twirl you, and dip you. What a beautiful melody and harmony we move to. Angelica, you are mine and I am yours. There is NOTHING you can do to change that. I leave the 99 to find you, my Angelica. I call you by name and especially made you to be loved by me. Our love is unique, truly one of a kind. I am fully devoted to what is written on your heart. I mean look at you, my creation how can I not be madly and wildly in love with you. My Wildflower. My Ruby. My Love. My dance partner. My one. Never forget how far I went to love you.
Your Perfect Husband that loves you to the universes and back
Who am I?
I am fiercely delicate.
I am God’s Ruby and Wildflower.
Rubies are made with extreme heat and pressure. It is the stone of divine creativity, high spiritual wisdom, self esteem, and intuition. Rubies are a symbol of pure love and loyalty, and are deemed the most precious jemstone in the Bible. A woman of God is more precious than these.
Proverbs 3:15 “Wisdom is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.”
Wildflowers symbolize purity, devotion, and faith. They bloom best in full sun but also grow in dark and unlikely places too. Their purpose is to support the wildlife around it and give pollen when needed. It grows year after year and always puts out new seeds. They don’t drown in water but use it to grow even more. They are strong flowers that improve the health of the environment around them.
I am God’s precious ruby. Being put into pressure to bring growth. I am precious, pure and completely divine in his eyes.
I am God’s beautiful wildflower. Pure and strong, popping up in Romania and the ends of the earth to plant seeds. I’m soaking in all the light and water God gives that way I can make my environment better.
See we live in such a backwards world. Vulnerability is weakness. A loud voice is power. Honesty is being mean. Love is superficial. Joy is temporary. Enough isn’t good enough.
All these lies God has been ripping out of my heart one by one. Vulnerability brings freedom and strength. A wise voice that hears from the Lord first, brings discernment. Honesty in love brings growth. True love is everlasting and unfailing. Joy is eternal. Enough is perfect.
God is showing me that I can be strong and powerful, but also gentle and tender. I never thought these characteristics went together. I am fierce but God is instilling in me a delicate and tender spirit for others and myself. This combination is a perfect balance that can only be perfected by the Lord.
Even though we live in a backwards world where good is bad and bad is good, God wants to show himself in us for the sake of displaying Christ in this corrupt world. To do that, we can’t just be all of one thing.
Galatians 5:22, “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”
There isn’t just one fruit of the spirit, we work towards having all of them knowing that as we grow we look more like Christ.
I am fiercely delicate. I am a Ruby. I am a Wildflower. God is perfecting my balance through growth and vulnerability to make me look even more like him. Some days I will probably be more fierce than delicate, but God never said my life would be perfect, he wants us to lean in so he can show us what it means to be truly transformed and called by the name he gives us.
I know who I am, who are you?
