Spiritual oppression is very real here in Chiang Mai. The wonderful hostel that my squad and I are staying at is only a block away from the red light district where prostitution is rampant. We were informed by our hosts a couple of days after our arrival that as a result of the spiritual darkness, many former racers and even our hosts themselves often have a hard time sleeping or just feel excessively tired; sometimes even experiencing weird and inappropriate dreams. They told us that most often the enemy will attack will our minds, causing us to maybe have stronger emotions than what is normal for us as individuals, such as a darker level of depression or questioning why we’re here and what the heck we’re doing.
So far I have not been able to really feel the heaviness of the spiritual darkness here, but some of my teammates and squadmates have. Some of them have felt it manifest more in the quality of their sleep and strange dreams. Others have literally felt a darkness settle in their minds and just the air around them while walking down the street as they passed a bar.
In my case, I believe the devil has been attacking me by distracting me with issues from home that I have been forced to deal with. I think one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with so far is struggling to find time, energy, and the emotional capacity to deal with some issues back home that I am not able to ignore, while at the same time fighting my mind and heart to be present where my feet are.
I’m just gonna take a second and say that I want this blog to be a place where I can be vulnerable with you guys. My hope is that you are able to better understand where my heart is at and so as a result your prayers can be even more specific and intentional.
That being said, it took me a while to figure out that this was the way the devil was choosing to attack me. But when one thing came up and was resolved, immediately I was hit with something else that quickly became another burden upon my heart. This happened repeatedly and that’s when I realized the enemy was targeting me and using some of the things closest to my heart to tear me apart.
All of these things have taken up more mental and emotional energy than I am willing to split between two places. I have found that I am unable to be as intentional and focused on my ministry here in Thailand as I so want and need to be when there are hard things going on back home that demand my attention. The devil knows what’s gonna distract me and affect my ministry the most and he has done a good job of messing with me so far.
Prayer has so much power and it is SO needed, especially for Chiang Mai where the enemy has such a big foothold. Please be praying against the spiritual darkness here and for all the people trapped in prostituion and sex trafficking. Please pray for the mental and physical protection of my team and my squad. Please pray for us to continue to be able to be sensitive to the presence of spiritual darkness so that we are able to pray more specifically against it when we feel it in a place. Please pray for me, that I would be able to let go and move forward knowing that God has a plan and it is sooo great, even if it doesn’t feel like it now. And pray that I will be able to turn my full focus to what the Lord is doing in the ministry here and the people around me.
