I was waiting at a stop light.
Sitting in my car on the way back home from work and I wondered to myself.
How come I work so hard for work?
I’ve never seen myself work at something to the point where I’m sleeping 3-4 hours a night. I remember being on a work call at 2am, saying with the utmost respect, “I’m sorry if I sound like a b**** right now, but I’m tired and I know you’re tired too so let’s call it a night.” I was so focused, so determined, and so dependent on God to keep me going.
I’ve never seen myself work for a company that I considered family. I remember being in a meeting, literally piercing the other person with my eyes, saying “I’m so upset at you right now.” Sorry, not sorry that you didn’t listen when I told you. Somehow in my frustration, I decided to handle it like family. We call each other out, talk it through, and know that we’re still good even if we disagree.
I’ve never seen myself set boundaries to the point where I was OK walking away from the job. I didn’t feel like the changes were happening fast enough. And I was not happy with the answer of “we’re working on it.” So I walked in one day and said I’d quit if it doesn’t happen at the end of this week.
And I wondered to myself.
How come I work so hard for work again? How come I don’t work this hard for God?
What if I gave Him the same intensity? What if I went all out for God? What if I decided to love the church like family even when I have every right to walk away? What if God told me to stand up for myself because of what He put in me even if it meant putting everything else on the line?
What if I worked full-time for God? (!!)
