i gave my blog this title because this month i have done exactly that- chill. (also because i could not come up with anything else)
or in other, more christiany words: rested. sat with the Lord.
tonight i’m hopping on a train & heading down to Kuala Lumpur to debrief and then on to India! because we’re about to move on to a new country & ministry, I wanted to take some time to reflect on my past month here in Malaysia.
back in Thailand, for two months straight I did manual labor, and was constantly busy from 5am to about 12pm every single day. as sad as I was to leave my old ministry, i was excited to get away from working out in the heat and see what new ministry the Lord had in store for us in Malaysia! Upon arriving, they told us our new ministry- sitting in a room for 7 hours straight and praying. yes. you heard me correctly. 7 hours. praying.
my first reaction was…uh. what?
The Lord definitely has a sense of humor! we went from doing manual labor, to just sitting with the Lord and praying for the ones around us. two completely opposite ends of the spectrum.
now, hear me out. I am not a person who likes to sit in quiet. or solitude. my “rest” is going out and adventuring or getting into some shenanigans. just going to the Lord in silence is honestly something that made me uncomfortable for a long time, because I would get so impatient. I’d rather be singing! or reading scripture! or hearing a sermon! I constantly love to go, go, go & fit as many things into one day as possible. so upon the first week of being in Penang, having already prayed for a long time, sitting in a tiny room with 3 of our mattresses squished together on the floor (a beauty that we like to call the MegaBed), and staring at a wall for 2 hours, I started going stir crazy. we had an ABUNDANCE of free time, TOO MUCH free time. i missed having the relational side of ministry, and it was easy to get restless or feel like i wasn’t making much of an impact. I took my frustrations to the Lord, and kept asking Him to open my heart to what this next month would look like. What the heck am I supposed to pray for for seven freaking hours?
soon enough, God took that tiny little box I had put Him in and threw it right out the window.
Our week looked pretty different day to day, some days we would do prayer walks throughout the community, other days we had our 7 hour sessions, and some days we would have a 2 hour session and the rest of the day off. during the first 7 hour session, i walked into the prayer room prepared. i felt like i was preparing for battle. I had my blanket, water bottle, bible, journal, book, prayer journal, pens, watercolor paints, headphones, and a bunch of downloaded podcasts. okay, i think i’ve got enough things to keep me entertained. i figured if i could keep myself from getting bored, falling asleep, etc, i could do this.
those 7 hour sessions were some of the most intimate times I’ve had with the Lord. I worshipped, danced, studied scripture, and just sat with Him.
He completely blew my expectations away. He showed me that I don’t always have to be busy, that I can just be still. and sit in His presence.
At the beginning of the race, I decided to start keeping a prayer journal so that I could go back and see how the Lord has answered them. in the prayer room, i decided to do that, and I was overwhelmed with the crazy responses I had from prayers from 2, 3 months ago. At the time, something that seemed so big & crazy to pray for is now something so simple that I’m now blessed with, and other prayers have either yet to be answered or just aren’t in God’s plan. I would read prayers and just think, “wow. those aren’t even my words. definitely straight from the Holy Spirit”. i caught myself writing down things that I hadn’t even thought to pray for or writing down words and pictures the Lord was speaking to me. going back & being able to see how the Lord was & still is speaking to me so clearly completely blows my mind. God even showed me that the best thing I can do for my people back home while i’m away is simply pray for them. He showed me my heart for intercession. some days He would highlight very specific circumstances or people, things that I never even knew that person needed prayer for, and using that to encourage the people around me.
another awesome way that God grew me, was pushing me to choose into ministry. on the days we had an abundance of free time, a lot of the times I would go make friends- the ladies who work at subway, the man who sells us fruit every morning, and a shop owner! at night time, a few of us would walk around, talking to foreigners & even going in bars and doing ministry. one night, i met a man who sold toys for kids in the park, and he told me about his heart for the kids to have a safe place to just be kids and play. i got to pray over him & his business & play with little children! God kept showing me that ministry shouldn’t just be a designated time slot during the day, that i can do ministry by just simply walking to the market & meeting new people & loving on them.
so, to sum it up.
God is worthy not just of our 30 minutes devotional in the morning or quick prayer we say before bed, or even our 7 hours, but our 24/7.
I can sit with the Lord for a long time & just be content with Him & only Him.
If give up the noise, and if i was simply willing to listen to Him, He is definitely going to speak to me.
thank you for reading!! i have a video blog coming soon that shows my time in Malaysia, so stay tuned! xx Tay Morg
