Sometimes we have to restrain ourselves. Other times people need to restrain us. It’s all a process of freedom and discipline. It may come naturally or might be entirely against our nature. Learning to recognize when I’ve been given freedom by the figures of authority in my life has modeled to me what self-discipline should look like in the areas of my life where I struggle to be disciplined. As many people know, I’ve been consistent in my life in being disciplined in my education. Regardless, it was a process through grade school in order to get to the point where I can fully trust myself now in college to get assignments done, not procrastinate, and give myself breaks. Middle school was a time full of choosing not to do assignments or cheat my way through Pre-Algebra because I thought it was “too easy.” Surely enough that came back to haunt me in Algebra 1 because I had absolutely no idea what was going on in the class or when letters became a part of math. I learned my lesson and swore to never again cheat myself by cutting corners and that became the beginning of a beautiful and difficult process of loving school because I had learned to be disciplined. However, being disciplined in my personal time with God has been a difficult journey. Whether it was wanting to rest, rushing along with life, or getting easily distracted, I never really found a rhythm to my relationship with God. As I live in a community that thrives off of this intentional time with God, I’m seeing that this rhythm is possible and it reaps a beautiful harvest. Waking up before 6am to do devotionals isn’t always my favorite thing to do, but I have yet to regret it. At times my teammates have to tell me to not play my 53rd round of solitaire and instead just spend some time in nature to connect with The Father. Other times I have to let go of the intense desire of wanting to nap and instead journal a bit about all the lessons I’m learning. It’s no different than learning to be disciplined with my education, but the benefits are way better. Although I need more accountability than others, it’s of no matter because I’m growing and becoming a better me. Creating boundaries in my finances, working out, and even school has brought forth joy, freedom, and peace of mind. Grace however sits at the center of this process. I have a lot of goals in life and for the next 8 months, but driving myself crazy because these goals become the primary focus of my life isn’t healthy. So it’s totally okay if I slip up, need a day off, or just decide that having fun with the people around me is of more value to me. No need to beat myself up, we’ve moved on from that.
So that’s how Costa Rica is going so far…
Lesson behind lesson and it’s all so good in month two.
