Did you know? I accepted a position to work as a Chemistry teacher in Germany. If I make it there, I’ll be contracted for the next two years in Bonn. I’ll be continuing to blog during this time, so if you want to keep receiving updates, you can head over to theracecontinues.wordpress.com and subscribe!
I’ve probably gotten this question at least 50 times in the last 2 weeks, which is about 50 times more than I wanted to answer. With every new development (border closures, cancelled flights, dwindling funds) my stress has been mounting. It doesn’t help that the Winters are out of town so I’m in a giant house all by myself.
I’m trying not to dwell on it and give my worries over to the Lord. Every time I almost get there, another person asks me and there I am, ruminating on the stress again.
If you did ask, please don’t take this the wrong way: I know that you love and care about me, and you’re asking out of a genuine desire to see how I’m doing!
But at the same time, I’m also thanking God for modern technology and communication, which allows me to blog my answer so I don’t have to answer in person any more.
* * * * *
Here’s the skinny…
I’ve known I would have trouble getting to Germany since April, when the school sent an email recommending that we obtain a D-Visa, or a “National” Visa, rather than the usual Schengen Tourist Visa. The tourist visa does not require any advance paperwork; the D-Visa requires a background check, two forms of ID (original documents only), proof of where I will live, and many other documents. I would then have to travel up to the LA consulate to drop off my passport, documents, and 75 Euro fee, then return later to pick up my passport + visa (hopefully).
There was only one problem: the LA consulate wasn’t open—and no, I couldn’t go to another state—and no, it wasn’t a matter of being physically open; it was that they weren’t approving any visas at all.
I asked.
Multiple times.
After the third email came back negative, I resolved to wait until June to check again. My flight was scheduled for July 18; I had time. I had a confidence I couldn’t describe; I knew everything was going to work out.
During my big road trip I got an email from the airline: my flight had been cancelled.
The next available flight on that airline was October 3.
$500, gone. I’ll get it back in flight credit, but that doesn’t help a cashflow problem now, when I have no job.
I emailed the school. They suggested I get in contact with Kalli, the other new hire from the US. I think talking to her calmed her nerves more than mine (I was still feeling pretty confident). As for booking flights, they asked us both to wait until July 1. New travel restrictions were coming out, and we would know more once they did.
If you’ve been watching the news you probably know what the new travel restrictions are: No US citizens allowed. Period.
My landlord was first to message me, suggesting that we postpone signing a rental agreement. I went to church to help relieve my anxiety, only to relive it every time someone asked me about my plans. Faced with unanswerable the questions and increasingly aware of how few details I had control of, my anxiety began to rise.
Despite it all, I felt deep in my soul that I should go—just get on a plane with documents proving I had a job in August. In my mind, I could see myself walking up to the customs agents in Frankfurt, praying about which one to approach, and just walking into the country. I had dreams of breezing through customs and border control while everyone around me is being questioned extensively—which is strange for someone who’s actually quite worried about the process.
In short, I felt that God was telling me to go, that He would take care of me. But faced with Reality, I began to question that belief.
I was caught in a strange tension: I knew that God had me—knew it deeply—and would have been very comfortable hopping on a plane without a visa… but there was also a nameless anxiety stirring. Was I crazy for trying to pull off an international move in the middle of a global pandemic? Maybe He wanted me to wait? Maybe there was some grand plan about waiting an extra month?
If I can’t go in August, I thought, I want to go in January. Starting mid-year is bad enough; I’d rather start after Winter Break.
Finally I gave up waiting for the school to answer (July 1 came and went without a word) and emailed them myself. In short, they knew about as much as I did: the LA consulate hadn’t responded yet and the German police had said it’s not possible to work in Germany without a visa (which we already knew). In the event that we couldn’t make it by August, the school offered us a 2500 Euro loan. Unfortunately, we couldn’t be paid a salary until we were in the country.
It was that last sentence which worried me most. For the first time, they were considering the possibility that we might not make it by August.
Finally, another email arrived. From talking to her friends at other international schools, the HR director at BIS (she’s amazing, by the way) had compiled a list of things that we needed to have with us on arrival in Germany. These included signed contracts, an official invitation from the school, and a lease agreement.
Oh, and a visa.
Can you get a visa? she wrote at the end of the email. It will not be possible without one.
Minutes later, I get a text from Kalli. I don’t think they understand that we’ve been trying to get visas for 4 months with no success.
I just sighed, and—for the millionth time—sent an email to the LA consulate. I think we should just show up, I told Kalli. The worst that happens is they send us back.
And we’re out $1500, she said.
Kalli and I waited and hoped and waited and hoped. In the week leading up to July 4 emails have been flying between us, HR, and the school director.
Meanwhile, at the Winter home, the kittens were sneaking live prey, including a few lizards without tails and a still-squeaking mouse, into the house on a daily basis.
(P.S. Anyone want a cat(s)? They’re FREE, ~12 weeks old, house trained, not neutered/spayed, no shots. One black female and two orange males. Serious offer!)
Then, on July 4, the Winter’s dog escaped. I spent a sleepless night trying to find her, finally getting in touch with a vet (you can read the whole story on instagram/facebook) who had taken her in.
All leading up to this morning, when my nerves were frayed to the breaking point. I sat down to pray, but the twin voices of fear and doubt were so loud that I found it near impossible to hear God. So instead I just wrote what was on my mind—all my worries and concerns.
Finally, I checked my phone. The LA consulate had answered: they are now open for visa appointments! Not only that, but a blurb on their website says that American citizens can enter Europe without a visa so long as they are intending to work and apply for permanent residency upon arrival. Calling the office to confirm, I heard that the Frankfurt Airport is offering COVID tests on arrival, and that the final decision will be made by local authorities.
This is a comfort to me. People can be persuaded; institutions can’t.
God knew what I needed this morning: that last boost of confidence. He’s got this. He’s working it out. I will go on faith that my dream of breezing through customs was prophetic… I believe that God wants me in Germany in August, and if that’s the case, He will tear down the barriers to help me get there.
Do I know for sure?
No.
But I do know my God.
Pray with me:
- For favor with the local authorities
- For cheap flights – average prices are about $1500 for a one way ticket
- For financial provision – I need to pay for a plane ticket, shipping, a bicycle on arrival in Germany for transport, and 3 months rent up front… all before receiving my first paycheck!
- For the timing – My sister is getting married soon. They live in Australia, her husband is from Canada, and they are flying back July 16th for a wedding in late July/early August. I really want to be there, but right now it’s not looking like it’s going to be possible unless something shifts.
- For peace over Kalli and I as we navigate this!
- For homes for the kittens! That offer up there is serious, people. Send me your kitten-lovers!
