Being a missionary is hard. Yes, I do have the luxury of two showers, a washing machine, a bed and sheets all provided for me, but its still hard.
This is one of the greatest experiences I’ve ever been given, but physically, I’m exhausted. Mentally, I’m drained. Emotionally, I’m a wreck. It’s true, I am tired. I have a lot of things on my plate. I’m very overwhelmed.
Missions life from the outside can seem perfect, but its actually quiet challenging. Ministry can be challenging, community can be challenging, safety can be challenging, leadership can be challenging. I find myself not understanding why things happen. I get confused and I ask God “why?”
Well, here’s “why.” From the wise words of my dad, he told me, “Satan does not worry about the lost for they are LOST. It is the warriors of God whom he is most interested in.” The enemy does not want me here. It’s been clear since day 1 that he doesn’t want any of my team here.
But,
I am here. I’m not afraid of the enemy because the Lord is on my side. I’m not afraid of his threats and his schemes because the Lord is greater than all of it. It was never said that the life of a believer would be a piece of cake, and with that, the Lord offered His guidance and His protection through it all. Knowing that I have the Lord on my side is one of the most dangerous parts of me. Satan knows he can’t compete with the Him, he knows he can never win, therefore he flees in the sight of His power and goodness. The enemy may come back time and time again, but having the Lord’s power and goodness and strength will always defeat him.
A song we love to sing during Awana is a good reminder to rely on The Almighty. It says:
Who’s side are you leaning on? Leaning on the Lords side!
I said Who’s side are you leaning on? Leaning on the Lords side!
I lean, I lean, I lean, I lean
Leaning on the Lord’s side!
I lean, I lean, I lean, I lean
Leaning on the Lord’s side!
As long as I lean on the Lord’s side, my life will always turn for good. My struggles will always turn to dust. My doubts will always be reassured. I will always defeat the enemy because the power of my God is greater than all.
So, yes, I am struggling. I am tired. I’m not always understanding. I’m not always in control. But, my God is and I can lean on Him.
