It feels like only last week that I finally started to understand hope. At the same time it feels like a lifetime ago. I still feel that hope is just one of those weird words that you can grasp pieces of it. Just when you think you fully understand the word a new angle is added.
I have finally allowed myself to hope. Hope in God, hope in the plans He has for me, and hope for my future. To be completely real with you, that last part is still a little scary. Believe it or not, I use to plan my life… ha until God informed me He had something else in store. My original plans were to finish four years of college then go to Africa/ the missions field. What actually happened was one year of college, then Africa, then 3 more years of college, and now missions again. Through that process, I stopped hoping for my future. I knew God had plans and that He was going to take care of me but I stopped living with a passionate hope.
I have never longed for God to call me to an area as much as I was longing for God to call me back to Jeffery’s Bay, South Africa. I was already invited back and just told I needed to get the plane ticket that everything else would be covered. I began to hope that Jeffery’s Bay was my place after the race. I could work for the school or even for Global Challenge. There is a church here that is fantastic and I could easily see myself serving with them. The opportunity looked so good and it had the potential to be a great adventure. As I kept praying and taking it to God I wasn’t feeling peace. But I was longing for His pease.
Jesus so lovingly showed me a picture of myself back home in Pennsylvania before the race. He showed me what I was doing in my everyday. To be honest, it looked a lot like Jeffery’s Bay without the ocean. The routine was the same and I realized there wouldn’t be much hope nor a lot of growth. Ask anyone who knows me, if I’m not growing or being challenged I get bored and I’m ready to move on.
The next thing out of God’s mouth was, “I could send you to Jeffery’s Bay but if I do, it will be second best to what I have in store for you.”
Wow, second best. There is nothing wrong with Jeffery’s Bay other than God is not sending me there. If God, at some point, does say go then I will go in a heartbeat no doubt about it. How do I even begin to wrap my head around something that seems so wonderful to me but is second best for what God has in store for me? In that one simple statement, my hope is renewed. In fact, my hope has begun to soar. I feel this overwhelming excitement for what God has in store for me. There is this “new thing” inside of me. I am not quite sure how to handle it and what to do with it. But, what I do know is that God is in it and man I cannot wait to see where I am going to end up. My hope is now renewed.
Part of my new hope is that my life will challenge others to let God renew their hope. To let their hope be restored. To let their hope be radical. To let their hope be sanctified. To let their hope be full of grace. To let their hope be Jesus.
