Take Me Back-
I’ve been in a season of waiting. One thing to know about me is, I HATE waiting. Patience is definitely a weakness for me. However, God reminds me to be still at least 859485 times a day. It’s a sweet reminder that I honestly need that many times a day. However, this is a new form of still to me. Worship is one of my favorite things and I’m a crazy dancing fool when I’m in worship. Here lately, God has been teaching me to even be still during worship- to soak it in and appreciate every second, every breath, every word and The Presence in the room. It’s been life changing. I’ve been able to receive healing in the stillness. I’ve grown far more than I would have ever thought or imagined. It’s seriously the greatest thing.
We are about 2 maybe 3 months into this “stillness” stage and I’m like “great! we got some healing, some prophetic words and growth! Let’s go back to dancing like a fool” God is so dang good and patient though. While I was in the mindset of being “done” He was slowly giving me daily reminders that the stillness was just the beginning.
My church recently held a worship night and everyone had the chance to receive prophetic words. My sweetest friend, Alyssa, gave me a word and the hammer hit the nail right on the head. (also, I forgot to mention, I didn’t tell anyone about the stillness. I just kept it to myself) She gave me a word that started along the lines of “I know God has you in a season of stillness and it sucks. It really sucks but He’s working in your life and theres something great coming” I, of course, bursted into tears because I’m tired of the waiting- just to be completely real and vulnerable.
Here we are, a week later and I’m laying in bed with my dog. This week has been slow and busy all at once. I feel like everyone in the world has been asking me about The World Race and the details of it all. I will be honest- fundraising has been a little slow. I want to be clear- I’m NOT blaming God for that. I’ve mistaken the “stillness” for the option of not doing anything. I’ve confused the two and I’ve been working on untangling the two.
It’s late where I’m at- almost 2 am to be exact. As I was getting ready to lay down, God really just revealed Himself and told me “He’s taking me back to my roots” What does that mean, you ask? He’s taking me back to when I first loved Him. That was a child like faith and the enemy literally had no clue on how to attack me because I was so in love. He’s taking me back to when I told Him every minute of the day that I trusted Him. He’s taking me back to a time where the earthly world had no hold on me. He’s taking me back to the roots so I’m prepared to love these countries and their people in such a raw way. Jesus didn’t just die on the cross, He did it in the rawest way possible. Every lash against His RAW body.
What I’ve learned is through this stillness, God is stripping me down to be raw with Him, with the world. I once heard the phrase “You can’t carry this with you where you’re going” I can’t carry these layers with me where I’m going. I have to be raw in order to love, in order to walk along side God on this beautiful journey. It’s been beautiful and beyond this world so far and I’m so excited to see the next raw step of God.
So much love for y’all!!!!
