Its been a while…Honestly, its been so hard to just sit and write my thoughts down on all the things that I’ve been experiencing these past couple months and thats mostly because I’ve been so intentional about being where ive been at, that it makes it that much harder to unplug for a second and fill my friends and family in back home. Ive been in the mountains of Morroco giving the love of Christ to indigenous people (while fighting off giardia). In the plains of Ethiopia working with orphans and the native people in the surrounding villages. And this month and a half I’ve been living in a church three hours outside of Hyderabad with boys under the age of 12 who have no families and preaching the gospel every night in surrounding villages. That’s the summary. I’ve never been good at juggling things and being two places at once. But as I sit on this church porch reflecting on these forty-some days in India my heart goes out to my family back home. My heart has been broken for the lives that I have come in contact with, broken at my state and how far I have to go in my sanctification, and broken for my family and friends back home who have gifts that could be used for the kingdom, yet never impact one life for Christ. This is a Crisis and my very soul burns at that thought… I could spend forever talking about Morocco and Ethiopia and if you want to know I would love to talk in person one day about them. However this blog post will be solely for the purpose of where I am physically, mentally, and spiritually in India. Buckle up.
Have you ever been so low in your life that all you care about is the preservation and protection of yourself? Have you ever been so physically exhausted, mentally drained, and spiritually stretched that all you want to do is crawl in a hole and never speak to anyone again? I’m about there. I knew from the start India would crush me and it absolutely has. From sitting on the dirt floor every night in a random home eating some mystery meal that was served with dirty hands (they uses their left hand to wipe, AND serve with) then having to eat this spicy meal with my own dirty hands. Sleeping on the floor each night not being able to get one good night’s rest. To praying for literally hundreds of people who are suffering, starving, ill, crippled, neglected, sexually abused, abanded, and the list goes on. It’s so easy to put your best foot forward in life and thats what the majority of Christianity is and has been. Go to church once a week, smile at all my “friends” cause thats what Jesus wants me to do, and go home physically exhausted feeling like a martyr cause we had to talk to so and so today a little longer than we liked. Being so quick to teach people about a gospel we don’t actually live out, talking about a savior who we are so far from being like, picking and choosing and debating on what scripture is actually saying cause at the core of it, its whats WE want it to say. So much bickering about versions of the bible, between people who have never actually seen a miracle from God.I’m not excluding myself from this by no means, and I can speak on it because that has been and is me. All im saying that for the first time in my life I’ve been truly spiritually tested. I now see why love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control are fruits of a Holy God working through us. Because at this low that im talking about, humans only care about themselves.
This month I have questioned a lot. I have neglected beggars who have walked up to me just wanting a meal. I’ve had a bad attitude toward people who want prayer for the 100th time. And I’ve been very Judgmental towards the lifestyle here in India. Then I read a book titled Something Needs to Change by David Platt. I encourage everyone who claims theyre a Christian to read this book. I have never related to a book at such a specific time in my life other than this one. I felt as if were reading my own journal and very words. The things he saw on his trek in Nepal, which is where im heading in five days, are the very things I’ve encountered and struggled with on this trip. And that was the only a week for him. This book woke me back up and reminded me why I’m doing what I’m doing and challenged me with hard facts and scripture I think we all must face.
Luke 10:25-27 “25 And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” 26 He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?” 27 And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” 28 And he said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.”
Did you read that? Theres two commands for salvation and I believe because the second action proves the first is there. Love God with everything you are, and love your neighbor as yourself. Its not literally talking about your neighbor and if you believe that it is you are this lawyer. He asks Jesus this very same thing and Jesus then begins to tell the story of the good samaritan who were enemies with the Jews. You know how the story goes. The samaritan proves to be the neighbor to the Jew and the contrast for me and us is then we must love everyone we come in contact with even if they’re our enemies as we love ourselves. Have you ever loved someone else like yourself? I’ve caught myself too often putting myself before others, and for goodness sake im on a mission trip. I could spend this time telling of all the healings, miracles, planted seeds, and God sovereign hand at work on this trip and I will im sure one day with most of you. I’m concerned mostly with the lies I and others take as truth and the justification we use to ignore hard truths the gospel very clearly presents. We are called to love others as ourselves. David Platt writes “if you were someone who was on the other side of the world dying and going to hell, what would you want someone on the other side of the world who claims Christ to do to reach you?” The answer is anything. Even my heart towards the poor is changing.
Proverbs 21:13 says “Whoever closes his ear to the cry of the poor will himself call out and not be answered.”
Proverbs 28:9 “If one turns away his ear from hearing the law, even his prayer is an abomination.”
If we neglect those in need, we will be neglected. If we neglect God’s commands, our prayers will be an abomination. This is a scary thought, yet its scripture. Have you felt like God has been far away and there has been no breakthrough spiritually? Is there a sin you can’t shake in your life and have begged God to defeat? Do you struggle at loving the poor, weak, sick, dirty, and destitute? Would it bother you to hold a child with lice, hug a man with urine on his shirt, share a meal with a dirty hand all at the cost of giving Christ? If the answer is no I don’t think I would call that Christianity. Jesus lived a radical life, He literally didn’t have a place to lay his head and his followers modeled this same thing. We hide behind the excuse of living in a different time where everyone makes money and God would want me to make money to provide for my family. Though that may be true, what if the reasons we are so blessed and privileged as Americans was simply to live a life helping those in need because we love them like ourselves?
Luke 12:48 “But the one who did not know, and did what deserved a beating, will receive a light beating. Everyone to whom much was given, of him, much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more.”
Now you know. And now we are all accountable for what we withhold from this dying world. I praise the Lord for the change in heart he is giving me towards his people and towards this lost world. His kingdom is the only thing that will last, therefore its the only thing that really matters. I praise him for letting me do things this month that is disgusting, but he used them to remind me what is really the cost of bringing Jesus to unreached people. This country worships idols and is spiritually oppressed on every corner. That stuff no longer scares me because what we carry is the one true God. “Greater is he that is in me, than he that is in the world.” I believe this now more than ever because these seven months ive seen it. I’ve seen his provision and protection in my life. I just got fully funded, and to those who gave I can’t thank enough and I pray God’s outpouring of blessing will shower you all. Press into him daily. Seek the Lost as Christ did. Give until it hurts reminding yourself that where your treasure is there your heart will be. Our very souls rest on what we say we believe, and if what we believe doesn’t change us, then how can what we preach save us.
