On July 9th around 230 kiddos from all across America headed to Gainesville, GA for 11 days of training camp for the World Race gap year. These 11 days consisted of meeting the people we would be traveling the world with!! (Exciting stuff), taking bucket showers (honestly kinda enjoyed it), porta potty living (yikes), sleeping in a tent! (really fun until you have 4 spiders as your roommates).
These 11 days pushed me out of my comfort in every way shape and form. My faith was stretched and the boxes I had been putting God into were blown to bits. We hiked 2 and a half miles with our 40 pound packs on and somehow that was one of the best moments of the whole camp. I saw things that had only been described in the Bible, seeing our squad act like the body of the church as described in 1 corinthians 12:2. Love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, kindness, faith and self control were all displayed for me in ways i had never experienced.
“your sigh is able to move the heart of Jehovah. Your whisper can incline His ear to you. Your prayer can stay His hand, and your faith can move His arm. Do not think that God sits on high taking no account of you” -Charles Spurgeon
A friend sent me this quote when I was back home from training camp but it’s exactly what I experienced during those 11 days. I had never asked the Lord something in expectation of getting an answer. I had never truly believed that He would welcome that from me. One of the first days, we were encouraged to ask the lord “why am I here?” I had already written a blog on why I was going on the world race so I assumed that i would write the same sort of thing. The leaders said to us that we should actually ask God why he has us here in this moment at training camp, and so I did. In no way did I think I would get an actual answer. I heard him say “you will experience me in a new way” and all I can really say I was excited to hear that.
Over the week I kept that promise in the back of my mind, seeing the week unfold I saw little glimpses along the way, but at one point it all became clear. One of the nights of training camp I was overwhelmed with all of what was happening. I had never experienced community in that way, worship in that way, or sleep deprivation in that way and to be honest I was so completely exhausted in every way. I shared this with one of my leaders, Allisa. She told me she saw me clinging onto the Father’s leg, too afraid to look up and open my arms to Him so that He could pick me up. She told me that God would be patient with me, that He would wait until I was ready to open up my arms so that He could carry me.
In those moments fear melted away. I saw God as “Abba,” as a father who isn’t far away. As a loving dad who wants to hold me when I’m weak and weary. He wants to hear my cries of joy and sadness. In those moments He taught me that the pain and resentment I had carried for so long, wasn’t mine to hold anymore. He told me that it wasn’t my pain to bear anymore because He wanted to take it all away. In those moments I quit clinging so tightly to His leg, I looked up and I let Him pick me up.
Abba showed Himself to me as a father, not some far off being who was guiding me through the dark. I experienced His promise to me as fact. I let myself be filled up with His love so that I would be able to pour out on others.
ALSO! in addition to Thailand, India and Costa Rica, I will be going to Malaysia for month 3!!
