This week has been another incredible adventure! Jesus has allowed us to meet so many people and I personally got to lead the salvation prayer for 4 new believers! I can’t say enough how much of a joy it is to be used by God and how evident his presence is in this community!
But, recently, I’ve spent a lot of time on self-reflection and walls breaking down. I’ve been learning so much about operating out of the fullness of the Spirit and the barriers I put up surrounding my heart.
This past week, God revealed many things about me.
- I am quick to anger.
Sometimes my anger is revealed out loud but even when it isn’t, I harbor lots of bitterness in my heart and have a tendency to hold grudges. I’m not sure if any of you have experienced this same struggle. But if you have, let me tell you this statement from our sermon on Sunday- “Forgiving someone isn’t doing them a favor, it’s doing yourself a favor.” I am realizing how unhealthy it is for my relationship with Jesus when I allow small things to take over my heart and make me act out in anger instead of love. God is love!! And that brings me to the next thing I am learning-operating out of his fullness in love.
- I am enough because Jesus is inside of me.
I pretty much try to do everything in my own strength out of habit and it often leaves me wondering why my effort is never enough. But I am realizing how much I desperately need to stop trying. It sounds unproductive but truthfully, I am learning to let go and let God fill me up. Picture this: as Christians, we are sponges. If I try to fill up other people without asking Jesus to pour into me first, then I have nothing to give to others. But if I ask for Jesus first, then I will be overflowing and have Jesus to give. If I absorb his love, then He will be the only thing that overflows from me.
- Relationships are not 50/50.
In order to have successful friendships within our team, with the interns, or even with locals, and even when I get home- I have learned that it’s not a give and take. Sometimes, I will have an off day and I might need someone to lean on. But, everyday, I should be giving 100% to every relationship I approach because Jesus calls me to love and to love fully ESPECIALLY when it’s hard. The world expects relationships to be equal from both persons and sometimes that’s just not the case. But regardless of what we get in return, we are just called to pour out God’s relentless love to those around us without ceasing. I love my team so much and I am looking so forward to what God will do in the next few weeks in South Africa.
I am so excited about everything God is teaching me so far and there is so much more that I am learning as I know I’ll continue to learn about him and what it means to be His child!
Thank you all for your prayer and support!
Please pray for me as God continues to challenge me about my passions and the direction of this Summer and this coming year. But also, pray that I will be present here and to not get comfortable where I am. (I cant grow if I’m comfortable!!)
Please pray for our team as we focus on one another this month and this month is very exciting but also it’s super busy! Please pray for our endurance and pray that we’ll continue to get uncomfortable and keep growing! Please pray for excitement and for us to embrace our time together as we are quickly running out of time to be a team in South Africa.
