For the past few days the Lord has been showing me how known I am to Him. It started at launch with my key necklace. I ordered a necklace from Keys for the journey and the company allows you to order your key and then prays over a word for your key. I had been anticipating the word on my key and at launch when I got it I opened it, and it said “known.” I don’t know what word I expected, but known was not it. Known. What a wild word that the Lord told a stranger about me. As time went on I was trying to grasp that the Lord knows me, but its always hard to really think He actually know knows me.
At our last night in Atlanta my team leader, Emma, came over and prayed for me, and in that prayer the Lord was telling me how I am redeemed. She told me that when I am nervous to not run away but instead to run to Him. It was really calming because I was feeling all the nerves that on a few hours I was going to be in Guatemala. I feel everything and dependent on my emotions, they really take a lot from me. My first day in Guatemala I just felt nervous and unsure in so many things. During one of our worship sessions my teammate, Lex felt the Holy Spirit was telling her to pray over me, and the Lord spoke so beautifully through her and told me all the things I needed to hear. He told her that I am equipped, that though I don’t feel like I am enough, or ready for this He called me for a reason and that I was obedient enough to just say yes; and because of that He gives me the things that I need.
Later, that night I was having really bad back pains. I have struggled with it for years, that it would just hurt so bad I couldn’t even lay down straight. My teammate Eva called our team together to pray for me. I didn’t even want to be prayed over, that’s the thing. I am really skeptical to hearing about people having these pains for years and suddenly they disappear. However, for the first time in a long time I laid down completely straight and no pain was in my back. I know some of y’all probably are skeptical and I would be too. There is just no way to explain Gods power. He is unexplainable and so powerful that He has the capability to take our pains away. Also for the past few nights while I sleep I haven’t felt that pain anymore. I don’t know its crazy.
The Lord also spoke to me which is something I struggleeeeeee with. I’m not sure how to hear the Lord. I’m unsure what is His voice, and how do I specifically hear it. However, after being told what our ministry was and not being exactly excited for it I prayed to God just how to change my heart and what is He trying to teach me through this ministry. Over and over the word unexplainable came to my mind. The Lord is so unexplainable and that’s just it. He told me that I’m never going to understand what He is doing but to just be patient and understand. He was saying that He isn’t going to give me everything I want. His plan is aligned perfectly to what I need. His ways are so good and I need to trust in that. The first week in Guatemala the Lord has been tenderly showing me that He is there for me, and that we have such an intimate relationship. It’s just a matter of me pouring into this and receiving what He has done for me and fully trusting in Him. Guatemala is slowly changing my heart. Thanks to God for his tender loving ways, and thank you that He has shown that to me.
