These days, a day where I get to do absolutely nothing is rare. Today was one of those days. Because of the way I am, because of my personality, if presented with the opportunity to have a day all to myself I usually don’t take it. I try to fill the day with as many people as I can, and I try to do as many fun things as possible. I never wanna miss a chance to do something exciting. Being bored is not something I’m keen on, and laying around makes me feel unproductive, tired, and useless. So, like always, I found someone to hang out with me today so I wouldn’t have to be alone and do nothing.
It never rains here in SoCal, but today it poured. I woke up this morning feeling sick. My stomach was hurting and I had no desire to get out of bed because I didn’t want to feel worse. I cancelled my plans and laid in my bed for a while until I felt better and looked out my window and saw that it was still raining outside. I had this super weird need to go outside but I wasn’t sure what I was gonna do once I got out there.
I put on my raincoat that doesn’t really work because water always gets through and I went outside in my pajama shorts and flip flops (because hey it’s still SoCal and I wasn’t trying to impress anyone). Once I got out there, something flipped inside me. I was overjoyed and I was dancing and singing like a fool in the rain. Hands down one strangest things I have ever done!
Dancing around, standing in the rain, looking at the trees, and taking everything in made me feel small, out of control, warm, and loved. I felt small, because my God is HUGE. I felt out of control because He has the control, He is the maker and the healer. I felt warm, because even though I was soaked to the bone, Abba was wrapping his arms around me. I felt loved, because this past year and a half has been so unbelievably trying and I’ve spent most of it searching for approval everywhere I go.
I no longer need to do that. I no longer need to fill my days constantly. It’s ok to rest. It’s ok to just be still. It’s ok to feel sad because sometimes you need to feel sad first in order to feel happy.
Today was an unexpected great day!!
-Megs 🙂
