Just like that Chile is coming to a close! I can’t believe the month is already over! We leave tomorrow for a 50 hour bus ride to Bolivia where we will be living in the jungle, literally. Yes you read that correctly. 50 HOURS…At what hour do you think i’ll reach my point of insanity? Any bets? Cash in your votes and ill let you know. In all seriousness though this month has been one of the most challenging months for me. Being on bedrest for 15 days and not being able to workout or help with ministry was incredibly stretching.
I learned a lot through the bed rest though. I learned:
- God truly loves you no matter if you spend 24 hours a day praying, or if you are at rock bottom. Either state and every state in between God LOVES you, and His love does not change based off the amount of time you spend or don’t spend with him.
(I was starting to get caught in the whole cycle of wow i’m spending so much more time with God because of being on bedrest He must be so much happier with me now. And then He told me He loved me exactly the same right now, as He did this time last year; when I hadn’t read my Bible in a year, when I was deep into sin, and rarely acknowledging Him in my life. HE DOESN’T HAVE A POINTS SYSTEM. THERE ARE NO GOLD STICKERS. HIS LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL. That means NO condition can change how He feels about you. While that’s not a free card to sin, that also means there’s not a free card to get self righteous when you’re doing good.)
2. Grace has nothing to do with your efforts.
(One day I was worshipping and listening to the song “In over my head” by Bethel. I was picturing me walking into the water hand in hand with Jesus. Jumping into the waves, and swimming deeper into the abyss of the ocean. Then Jesus just stopped me and said this isn’t how I want you to go deeper, this is how I want you to go deeper. And in that moment it switched from us swimming hand in hand. To him carrying me in His arms swimming deeper and deeper. All I had to do was hold around His neck and rest my head of His shoulder and He did the work. He showed me that it is His delight to carry me into the deeper things. He just wants me to TRUST Him. When i’m doing the swimming I try to control the situation and how far we go, I try to take the credit for how far we’ve gone, but when He does the swimming He takes me deeper than I could imagine and He gets all the credit for it.)
3. Worshipping God will always bring you peace.
(Every time I was about to fly off with an attitude at someone because I couldn’t take being in bed another second. I would go worship. I would go talk to God and every single time He would bring me back to that place of peace and contentment. Even if you only have 3 minutes you should put on a worship song and just pour praise out to the Father. It will help you I promise! Ain’t nothing more regrettable than popping off your lip at someone or rolling your eyes one too many times, when you could have chosen to worship instead.)
4. It’s ok to need help!
(Trust and believe I hate asking for help. I hate needing anyone for anything, but being on bed rest I needed my team and the people of this church A LOT. They were always so kind, so helpful, and so generous with their love and service to me. By not asking people for help or letting people help you, you could be robbing them of their blessing. SO, SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE cough cough talking to me and ASK FOR HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT! Even if it makes your skin crawl you have to get used to the reality that you, me and everyone in between need each other. You need people. No one is so independent that they don’t need a friend to help in time of need.)
5. SPEAK to things!
(So often I have just let life happen to me. I have wasted so much time asking for things that are already fully mine. Yes Jesus did say ask and keep on asking, but He also said SPEAK to this mountain to be removed and it will be cast into the sea. He said that we have everything we need for life and godliness. The creator of the Universe dwells inside of us. We have access to everything we need. We just need to start speaking to things. There’s no reason to be shy. Jesus said come BODLY to the throne of grace. Everyday on this bed rest I SPEAK to my body. I demand it to line up with the word of God. I demand my body to line up with the truth that perfect health is my inheritance. I demand anxiety to go and I tell myself to put on the mind of Christ. I speak to things. I’m learning not to ask and doubtfully wonder what will happen. No! The devil cannot have my health, my joy, my peace, my future, none of it. You gotta start speaking to what’s rightfully yours.)
6. Your value is not found in your work or your body.
(I thought the people here wouldn’t like me because I literally couldn’t do anything for them. I couldn’t go to ministry for 15 days. I had to be taken to the hospital for check ups. I had to ask for things from people and couldn’t give them anything in return. You know what they still showed me unconditional love. My worth and my value is found in knowing I am a daughter of God, and so is yours! It’s not about what you do or how you look but who you belong to. My Father and I are one. I belong completely to HIM. That is my reality and that is where my value lies. Not in a career, not in my work ethic or my looks.)
Sometimes God allows in His wisdom what He could have prevented in His power, and while I’m not glad I had that cyst on my tailbone. While I would never wish to be on bedrest again. I am thankful that through it Jesus taught me a lot about what true love looks like. I feel deeper in love with Him than I ever have before, and for that I will always be grateful.
Liv
