So, before starting the race I experienced the hardest break up of my life. I didn’t know how I would ever get over it. To be honest i’m still not over it. The past 6 months on the race have been the highest highs and the lowest lows. I have had moments of overwhelming joy and moments of unbearable sadness. The matters of the heart are so deeply complex. Some days I didn’t even want to get out of bed, or I wanted to break something I was so angry. There are still moments where I feel that way. I don’t know if I could have made it through these past 6 months if it wasn’t for the friends God placed in my life on the race.
However, this past month I not only had to figure out how to mend my heart, but I had to battle anxiety. I have never been much of a worrier. I have always just taken life one stride at a time. However, for some reason this month has been full of anxiety. Some times I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath I was so anxious. My chest felt tight at times. I still feel that way from time to time. I’m just letting you know i’m not writing this from a place of perfect understanding on anxiety, or from a place of totally overcoming this. I want you to know if you are struggling with heart break, or anxiety that you are not alone. I do however want to tell you something that I have been seeing in Scripture, praying and hearing from God about this.
In 1 Peter 5:7 it says: “cast all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.” Peter knew we would have anxiety, he even knew we would have multiple anxieties. However, he commands us to CAST them on the Lord for He cares for us. Casting your anxieties on the Lord is a command. In Philippians 4:6 we are commanded “do not be anxious about anything. But in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” God is telling us through these writers that we DO NOT need to be anxious about anything. A mark and sign of a Christian is actually PEACE. In a world wrought with anxiety, we can show Jesus by how we live in PEACE instead of anxiety. We serve a good father in heaven who is strong enough to carry our burdens, and truly cares about the things weighing on our hearts. When we carry these burdens we are saying that we don’t think God is strong enough to carry them for us.
I realized I was anxious about my future, about what I should do after the race, about what I should do as a career, about if my ex was going to move on, and on and on and on. I had/have so many things storming through my mind that were literally killing me. Stress is honestly the biggest killer, and I was just losing it over all of these things. In Luke Jesus says, “do not worry about tomorrow, about what you will eat or drink or wear. The pagans do such things.” It is literally a sign of being in and of the world when we worry or are anxious about tomorrow. It is a sign of godliness when we live in peace. How can we say we serve the Prince of Peace when we are so anxious. This was a huge wake up call to me. That my life is meant to be saturated in PEACE. How much I actually trust God is shown in how calm and at peace I am.
So, practically what does this look like? I started just waking up everyday and CASTING my anxieties on the Lord, and I mean I just started this, this week lol. It has been incredibly helpful though. I wake up and ask myself how am I feeling? Whatever that feeling is I just lay it on the Lord. I tell Him i’m worried about my future. I go over all the options I’m thinking through for a career. I yell and cry about my heart ache. I tell Him how I feel super insecure about this person or that person. I let EVERYTHING OUT. And it is so freeing. He CARES! Which is so comforting to me. He comes in every time and wraps me in His arms of peace. Then after draining out all the negative emotions and thoughts, I don’t stop there, I trade those thoughts for things above. In Philippians 4:8-9 it says: “whatever things are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things…and the God of peace will be with you.”
It says when we think on those things not only will the peace of God be with you, but that the God of peace will be with you. Wake up everyday and practice casting all your cares on the Lord and meditating on Scriptures. Take deep breaths. When you feel anxious or overwhelmed pray, because honestly we are meant to live in peace. It is a promise. We are living compromised lives, because anxiety is causing us to act out of the character of Christ. I hope this helps you. It has been helping me. God wants you to live in peace.
Liv
