A wise person, aka one of my leaders, told me recently that we have to go through the valleys to get to the mountains. The valley moments are when you are in the thick of a situation. You can’t see anything but what’s in front of you and it seems nearly impossible to get out. But then you do get to the mountain and the view is great. You can see the valleys all around you but you are above it all.
I have had a lot of valley moments. They have been hopeless situations that I did not think I would make it through. There were times in my life that I was not sure if it would get better because there was darkness all around me. Sleepless nights, where it didn’t seem like the sun would shine. A lot of times I wondered where God was in the situation.
But looking back I can see that I reached a lot of mountains. I may not understand why some things happened the way they did. Yet God has worked In my life in different ways even if I have not always felt him there.
Last week was filled with a lot of high and low moments. There were times I felt at peace and content and others where I felt anxious. One specific time I hit my lowest point. It was the first time where I thought- I don’t want to be here anymore. I missed everything familiar about being home: my friends, family, and the feeling of really belonging. I told myself so many lies. That I wasn’t valuable, loved or really needed here, only digging a deeper hole into my sadness.
Thankfully even though it was hard I grew a lot from the experience. I had to share my feelings with other people and really lean into God. I learned to be more vulnerable and believe who God says I am.
