This season of my life consists of a lot of waiting, which I am very thankful for. I am not in school right now and I don’t leave on my trip until the end of January. In some ways it feels like my real life has been put on hold as I watch my friends experience their first year of college. I don’t mind postponing the life of dorm rooms, dining hall food, and stressing over midterms. In a lot of ways I am relieved to get this very long break from school, and it has made me genuinely more excited for the “college experience.”
This means I should have ample time to do everything that I’ve wanted to do but have always claimed to never have time for. Sometimes I even overwhelm myself with lists of things to accomplish, like reading tons of books, completely cleaning my room, visiting grandparents and friends in college, and going to different events. Yet what I’ve come to realize more and more, is that there really is not much time in the day. Also the reality is that life is tiring and some days when I get home from work I just want to take a nap and watch netflix. Another thing that I have learned (or thats become more clear to me), is that being productive and intentional with my time is really hard and takes discipline. I don’t want to look back and regret that I spent more time scrolling through social media and binge watching netflix then with actual people and doing things that are important to me. But if I’m being honest, it can be easier to hide behind a screen then to have authentic conversations with the people around us.
Yet, despite trying to stay busy, I know it’s important to find a time for stillness and reflection. It’s hard to allocate time dedicated for the sole purpose of doing nothing except thinking. Even in the briefest incidents, a commercial on the TV, a break in conversation, and sitting at a stoplight, we automatically see these as opportunities to go on our phone. I have been trying to wake up earlier before work to spend time to just reflect and prepare for my day. I am finding that the days I actually manage to get up early, I feel more productive, and at peace.
One of my favorite groups, The Head and the Heart has a song called Let’s Be Still. One of the stanzas says:
“the world’s just spinning
A little too fast
If things don’t slow down soon we might not last
So just for the moment, let’s be still”
So, with this being said, even in the busyness of life and preparing for my trip I want to take the time to just be still.
