My skin is dry. Like ashy 24 hours of the day, DRY. The sun is hot but the air is cool; so I don’t even notice how dry I am until I take a look at any part of my body. My lips were excessively cracking the first week that we were in Ethiopia. I was in so much pain, that I complained more than I would like to admit. It wasn’t until a friend offered a WHOLE tube of chapstick for me to have, that my lips started to heal. #blessed
This image of my cracked lips could explain my experience on the race, but this month in particular.
Here in Ethiopia, we are living on a compound. It’s also All Squad month! On the compound we do our various ministry jobs, eat, sleep, have quiet time, hang out with friends, and anything else you could think of. We do it ALL on the property. We can sometimes leave the compound if we have a local/male with us to help translate, but that isn’t often. So, you could probably see how easy it could be to get frustrated or feel trapped because we are constantly in one place. Some people are stir crazy and some are completely content staying on the property all month and never leaving. There is a pretty even mix of both.
My lips are not the only thing dry here at Hope Ethiopia; the ground and grass are too. I think seeing so many things that are dry or cracked is what inspired me for this blog. What can I say, the best ideas come when on the toilet. Can I get an amen???
When I think of my cracked lips, I metaphorically think of the cracks in my life that need healing for various reasons. I have realized this month that my heart has many dry or cracked areas that need some attention.
I read a book the first two weeks while we were here called The Burden is Light by Jon Tyson. My bestfriend swore by this book months before I left and challenged me to read it (she even bought me the book!). The book talks about getting rid of the tyranny of success and performance. Something I struggle with hard core! I realized the reason that this book has been sitting in my backpack for five months: I was afraid of getting butthurt by the amount of conviction this book was going to bring on my life. After realizing this, I put myself into high gear and started to read it. For someone that isn’t a huge avid reader, I was pleased by the time that I read the book in.
This book started the healing process of my dry “skin” – so I wanted to list some of the quotes I found very impactful to my heart. Also, just read this book. It’s life changing.
Note: these quotes don’t get you further along the plot line but are good things to think on. So if you want the rest of the blog, skip past the quotes.
“You don’t have to compete with others for what is already yours. There is a seat at the table with your name on it. Now use your privilege and position to welcome others in.”
“But surrender is superior to obedience. Obedience is a momentary decision, but surrender is the posture of the kingdom.”
“He chose us before the foundations of the world, determined the time in history that we should live, placed us in our circumstances, and is working out his will in our lives. He loves us and is committed to our flourishing and joy.”
“We don’t work for blessing; we work from blessing.”
“A wound is an open sore. By contrast, a scar is a wound with the flesh filled in. A scar can be talked about because it’s healed. Scars can be beautiful and tell a story of redemption. But a wound is ugly and painful, and it must be protected to prevent further injury.” Referring to how impactful words are to human beings.
“Every spiritual blessing – fullness and restoration, inclusion and provision, access and authority – is given to us in Christ.”
“When we measure things only by their ability to produce results and not for their intrinsic worth. The world is flattened down to one dimension and beauty and delight are squeezed out.”
“Summing this up – we need to stop criticizing others.” (Matthew 7:1-2)
“When we walk around judging people rather than advocating for them, we facilitate the work of the Enemy in their lives.”
“You can’t love and judge at the same time.”
“Mercy is not passive but scandalously proactive.”
“The antidote to pride is humility. Jesus came to liberate us from the all-consuming burden of pride so that we are free to love. Humility is not a virtue reserved for the spiritually elite; it is the only appropriate response to seeing who Jesus is and who we are.”
Pride used to run my life. I haven’t completely conquered it and I don’t think I will on this side of heaven, but learning humility has been one of the best things for my life. I know my tendencies, and I can now crush my pride when it arises in situations. Also, just read this book. It is humbling and life changing.
I am in a season where I am finally ready to work on the cracks in my heart that are so deep that I thought would be impossible to heal. That statement in itself is monumental for my life. A desire to grow is sprouting out of me. Something happened (still not completely sure what) in my life since we have been in Ethiopia; my soul is on fire for The Word. I haven’t been able to put my Bible down. The Word is so alive to me! I pray this fire in my heart stays forever.
I have been reading so much, that I hope to re-read or read for the first time, the entire New Testament by leaving Ethiopia. I decided to do this when I realized I am almost done anyways! I say this not to boast in myself, but to show what a work The Lord is doing in my heart. Here are some of my constant reoccurring thoughts throughout the New Testament so far: because of the Father, His Apostles were B O L D and willing to do A N Y T H I N G for the sake of the Gospel. The amount of times Peter got thrown into prison or beaten is beside me. Every single time an Angel of the Lord was there to protect him or he heard the voice of the Lord say that he would be okay (Acts 12:6-19 is a great example). Listed after this are some thoughts or parts of the Word that are currently profound to me.
I am currently going through Matthew and Mark. Matthew 11:28-30 is such a good reminder that we find complete rest in the Father, that His yoke is easy and his burden is light. Mark 1:18 hit me so hard and differently today. It’s talking about when Jesus was naming his disciples/apostles. Jesus saw Simon (Peter) and Andrew when they were fishing and said called to them saying “follow me” and “immediately they left their nets and followed him.” The brothers dropped their livelihoods and everything they knew to follow Him, but Jesus used their experiences as fishermen and turned them into fishers of men; their calling.
All of Romans is good and brings so much wisdom – some favorites from the book (Ro 2:11,13; 5:1-5: 6:17-19, 23; 12:9-13). Philippians 3:7-11 has been a daily act; dying to self is so hard but needed and worth it. Keeping my eyes above to Heaven and not of this world is also something I am learning (Col 3:2-4) or putting on a new self (Col 3:12-17). We have been approved and entrusted with the Gospel (1 Thes 2:4, I also really like 5:15-21). We are chosen as the first-fruits to be saved! (2 Thes 2:13-17). ALL of 1 John is fire. So just read the whole book!
I know the last couple paragraphs were pretty scripture heavy and possibly overwhelming. But this is what I have been trying to get across to you guys. My soul is on fire! I have been praying for this. I can’t help it! My flesh is finally catching up to my spirit. I am, because of Christ, filled with scripture and excitement to share all that I am learning.
This month has been so much outpour to those around me, but also so much pouring into myself. I used to think it was selfish to pour into myself – but really I was only deflecting, so I didn’t have to work on me. It has been such a blessing (not always easy or fun) to have time to figure out what needs work in myself. I know I am in a preparation season. And I sure know these things that I have been carrying in a duffle by my side all my life, have got to GO. I’ve finally realized my arms are tired of carrying things I was never meant to carry (figuratively). Freeing myself from chains, alongside the Lord, has been a breath of fresh air.
So, although the air makes my skin dry here in Ethiopia – my heart is finally getting the healing it has been desiring all this time.
Until next time,
Lauren
