Today I write to you from my hotel room in Santa Fe, NM. I tagged along here with my dad. He has a Hospice Association Board meeting every year here in Santa Fe, and this year I got to come with him! Considering that I will be gone for 11 months, any chance to spend quality time together is time well spent.
It’s 32 degrees here and feels even colder with the windchill, a little snow on the ground with no sunshine in sight. While my dad was in a meeting all day, I got to explore. Which was a dream fo me. Cold weather + a camera in my hand = a happy Lauren. I absolutely loved exploring by myself, taking pictures of whatever and whoever caught my eye.
With all that being said, I experienced two promptings today. Both involving the little money I had. I do not tell these two because I am looking for any glorification for giving; but I wanted to explain what I learned from listening to the nudge I felt from the Holy Spirit.
The first prompting I felt was for Marissa, a what seemed to be a mid-twenties woman. Playing her guitar and singing in the hopes for loose change from those who walked the streets of Santa Fe. As soon as I saw her, I felt a nudge. I almost turned around because I didn’t want to pass her by when I knew I had money in my backpack. The initial thought in my head was “well I don’t have any money, so I don’t really know what to do here, God”… But I had $10 cash in my backpack that I was hoping to selfishly buy something really cool to take back home. I kept walking towards her and reluctantly pulled out $5 dollars out of my backpack. I put it at her feet while she was playing her guitar. She finished her song, and then I asked her her name, how long she had been playing guitar for, and if I could take her picture. She told me she had been playing for four years, and smiled and said “of course” – so I did. She was beautiful, with dirty knuckles and matted hair, she was beautiful. When I was walking away after we finished talking I told her to stay warm and that she was beautiful, she just laughed and smiled at me in almost disbelief.
I’m glad I stopped and listened to her sing, but I felt bad for not giving her all of the money I had. I just kept walking around and soon after dismissed the thought of how I felt bad for not giving her all $10 dollars.
Hours go by, I’ve talked to many people with probably almost 10,000 steps later.
I had outside for over six hours; I was a little bit cold, and hungry. I decided to map myself back to the hotel where my dad and I were staying at (because I am THAT directionally challenged!). When walking back, I looked up from my phone for a split second and I saw this beautiful building with a woman sitting on the steps. Head in her lap, looking like she was taking a nap. I stopped in my tracks, not being able to take my eyes off of her, feeling instantly drawn to her.
I knew I was supposed to go talk to her. I got a prompting to go.
I didn’t want to go though. I let the thoughts of “that would be weird”, “she’s going to be mean to me”, “she won’t want to talk to me” cloud my mind for a minute. While standing across the street, looking at her, I finally went over there.
I quietly said “ma’am, can I sit down?”
she then said, with her head still in her lap, “if you don’t talk”.
I asked her if I could give her some money for food (the five dollars that I had left), she hadn’t lifted her head, but I could tell she shook it yes. I put the five dollars down by her foot, so she could see it.
We sat in silence for a minute or so, I felt kind of frozen not knowing what to do next. Then these five simple, but powerful words came out of my mouth that shocked her and I. Politely, I said “can I pray for you?”, and right after I said that – she pulled her head from her lap, looked me dead in the eyes, and said yes.
I put my hand on her back and started to pray for her. I could not tell you what I said, but I was just trusting that the Holy Spirit was going to guide me with the words that came out of my mouth.
I finished praying for her, and she put her hand on my leg and smiled. She told me her name was Sandy and then told me she had been homeless for five days now. We got to talking, and she just started sharing things about her life. Talking about her grand babies, how they were involved in a house fire, came out alive but severely burned.
She then started to weep. Weeping while telling me how sad she was that everything had happened. You could just tell her heart longed to see them but could not, as they were now in foster care because their mother is a heroine addict.
Sandy begin to ask me why I was here, and we continued to talk for over an hour. We got to share stories and many laughs. She told me she’s homeless because she’s an alcoholic. She then went on to tell me about her children, and I got to tell her about my family showing her pictures of them.
At first, she wanted nothing to do with me. She wanted to be left alone.
But I truly believe she wanted to be heard.
She wanted someone to listen to her. I am elated that I got to be that for her. It was truly an absolute joy to sit there in the freezing cold, listening to Sandy tell me about anything and everything she wanted to. I wanted to give more to her, but I actually had no more cash; but I had my gloves. I felt like I needed to give them to her. She was so appreciative and asked me over and over if I was sure about giving her my gloves. I assured her that I wanted her to have them and she hugged me.
Sandy kept giving me hugs as we sat on these steps talking.
I am so glad I answered that prompt. Thank you Jesus for nudging my heart towards both of these women. I am a better human for both of these encounters that happened today.
What I learned from that situation:
- Never take moments or your life for granted.
- Uncomfortable situations can lead to incredible conversations.
- I would rather be uncomfortable and obedient than comfortable and disobedient.
- Be confident. Be bold. Listen well.
- Everyone has their hurts and burdens and we all want to be heard.
- When you feel the nudge or prompting, answer it no matter what.
- When we take time to invest and be intentional with people, it makes a huge difference; in their life but in your heart as well.
I took pictures of both of these women from the opposite side of the street.
Pictured below,
Marissa mid 20’s, Santa Fe, NM.
Sandy 61, Santa Fe, NM.
So much love for you all! Thank you to those who are following my journey as I prepare to depart for The World Race. Thank you for taking the time to read about these encounters I experienced today.
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Until next time,
Higbee out
