It’s near the end of debrief, and my team is about to step into the historic country of China. All seven of us have our visas. Now we just have to pray and figure out our game plan. China is our ATL month. For those who you who don’t know World Race lingo, ATL stands for ‘ask the Lord.’ ATL months are where we step into a country with no ministry hosts and no agenda. We literally have no clue where we’re going to go or what we’re going to do, but God does! And that’s the whole point. We rely solely on God to show us where to go, what to do, and who to speak to. Is it scary? A little. But I am so excited to step into the unknown and see God work! While I am so stoked to go to China, I do need to take some time to reflect on what this first month of the Race was like.
Mongolia was difficult…but it was good. I got to watch my teammates grow in the Lord, fight battles, and win! I am so blessed to be on a team of godly women who don’t give up, and who don’t surrender to the enemy. I get to witness Ellie pushing past her walls. I get to see Frieda walking in leadership. I get to see Michaela discovering who God created her to be. I get to see Kenz defeating her past. I get to see Marianna speaking out. I get to see Lacy pouring in. The amount of growth that HKS has gone through is incredible, and I cannot wait to see how they’re going to continue to grow!
I’ve noticed growth in myself as well. The Lord has helped me walk in a boldness I’ve never walked in before. He’s helping me to speak out, and my team has encouraged me to use my voice as well. He’s continuously pouring more wisdom and discernment upon me, which is all I could ever pray for. I’m discovering more of myself and becoming more aware of who I am in Him.
Debrief has been amazing, but it hasn’t all been easy. I’ve been battling spiritual warfare since arriving here. In the past, I experienced a lot of rejection. My counselor warned me this would come up. I was forgotten a lot, and I never felt accepted in any crowd I was in. In the church youth, I was always an outcast. At school, I was seen as one of the weird kids, even though I didn’t fit in with the weird ones either. I realized soon after coming to debrief that I have a lot of wounds that still haven’t been healed, so when we got here, all the lies came pouring in. I started fearing that I would be rejected by my team now that the squad is back together, and so many more horrible things were being whispered to me. But after having some truth spoken into me by God, my leaders, and my teammates (who love me well, btw), fighting against those lies has become so much easier. The next step in this process is inner healing, and I cannot wait for God to heal these wounds.
Lies have no place in my head or in my heart. Lies are from the enemy, and I know I’m not rejected. I know I’m not forgotten, and I know I’m not an outcast. I’m not any of those things because God has never rejected me. God has never forgotten me. God has never pushed me to the outside. He knows me intimately, He loves me, He cares for me. I abide in Him and He abides in me. Whatever lie Satan tries to throw at me cannot defeat me, because I have Christ on my side. So come on, China. I am ready for you!
