‘God’s perfect timing’ is one of those churchy subjects people talk about a lot, but you don’t truly understand until you experience one of those things that just had to be God.
My ‘God-timing’ moment happened this year in March. March was the month I was baptized and came to truly know the Lord. Obviously, March was a big month for me. I would like to say that March was mostly a happy month for me, but it wasn’t. I had just gotten out of a relationship that I had hoped would end in marriage. I was heartbroken, and it was a heartbreak that I had never experienced before or ever fathomed feeling. I realized that I was completely and utterly alone. I finally realized that I had nobody and that no one else could fill this hole I had in my chest. I finally realized that I had wasted years of my life and hundreds of dollars seeking fulfillment in people and in worldly things that were hollow and smoke. I had finally been broken, and it was at that moment that I fully surrendered myself to God, and declared Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. I finally came into a ‘yada’ relationship with Yahweh.
I had heard about The World Race before. I guy I basically grew up with had mentioned it several times on his Facebook, and another girl I’d gone to high school with went on it also. So, filled with emotion, fire, and passion, I applied for the Race. I knew I wanted to serve, I knew I wanted to help, and I have a passion to travel, so I believed it was something I was being called to do. And I still believe that. But it was not in God’s timing, and because of that, I wasn’t accepted.
I was pretty confused, disappointed, and lost as to what to do next. I had been given a few steps to follow, and after six months, I was told I could apply again. To be honest, my heart was telling me to just give up (PSA: never listen to your heart), that it wasn’t worth the trouble and the time. The old me was whispering in my ear to fall back on my old distractions and temptations. But that small, inner voice of the Holy Spirit said to me, “Be still and know that I am God.” And, as if I needed further confirmation, a couple weeks later my Life Group leader, Van Martin, brought in a ripped piece of blue paper that he said he’d found on the sidewalk outside the YMCA, and he said something was telling him to give that piece of paper to me. On that piece of paper was the fragment of a verse. Three words of Psalm 46:10 remained. ‘Be still, and.’ I don’t think he realized how relevant that verse was to me, and how much I needed that reminder. I had a third experience with that verse, and I still get the chills talking about it. Early in the summer I was laying on my bed and praying before I fell asleep, and I actually ended up falling asleep before I even finished my prayer. I remember that I was asking God to lead me and guide me and show me His will. I was frustrated and impatient because I couldn’t discern what His calling was for me. It was probably five to ten minutes later that I was jolted out of my sleep, and the words, “Be still.” flew out of my own mouth. I laid there silently, a little scared, but also amazed. I knew that God was telling me to be still, to be patient, and to trust in Him. I finally obeyed.
During my waiting period, I was hooked up with a Life Group at my church. This Life Group has been an enormous blessing in my life. I cannot express how glad I am that Van’s wife, Regina, invited me to the class. Because I had been invited to the class, God was able to use and teach me in ways I never would have imagined. I learned so much about the Lord, the Bible, and about myself that I would not have learned had I not become apart of their group. Along with Van, Regina, and the rest of the Life Group, we wrote a 9-week sermon series together, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, about what it is to truly be a Christian and to have an intimate relationship with our Father. I was able to fellowship with a group of like-minded believers in a way that I never had before.
What does all of this have to do with God’s timing? Simply this; If I had been accepted into The World Race in March and rushed into preparing for this journey, I never would have been able to grow in the Lord. I never would have been able to sit down and spend the time with God that I needed to. I wouldn’t have been able to feel the raw pain, the purifying fire that I needed to go through in order to be made into gold. I wouldn’t have had time to allow Him to heal me of my wounds. Now I believe God has equipped me with what I need to do His will, and He will continue to shape me and mold me as He prepares me for this amazing journey I will be starting in August 2019.
Many times things don’t turn out how we planned. So often we pursue what we believe the Lord is telling us to pursue, and then it doesn’t work out. When that happens, search your heart. Search your motives. Search your priorities. Trust in God, and know that His timing and His plans are far better than what we could have planned for ourselves.
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“Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.” Psalm 46:10
