Ok y’all…I know I just posted a blog a few days ago, but I really had to talk. I just read KJ’s blog and let me tell you IT.HIT.HOME! KJ is an amazing girl on my team…all I know is that we both love coffee and Taco Bell, but I know without a shadow of doubt she is amazing (You should really check her blog out too). She wrote about feeling unqualified. That is something I have really been struggling with too. I’ve always struggled with comparing myself to others, but it really seems to be an insecurity that is creeping back into my life. As I have been meeting all the girls on my team, I have really started questioning whether or not I am ENOUGH. I have felt like I don’t have the right aesthetics or that I can’t articulate my words as well. I really have just been doubting my abilities, but that is a lie from the one down below. God calls us right from where we are.
I knew with my whole heart that the Lord was calling me to the World Race and if you don’t know me, I’m an extremely indecisive person. The moment I got accepted I was filled with joy, but then quickly followed with an OH MY STARS this is happening. After the excitement wore off, I felt this kind of cloud fall over me. I had one of the worst weeks of my life, my schedule seemed to fill up even more if that’s possible, and I started to feel isolated. While I was in this month long rut, I just started feeling bad for myself. Let me tell you, the Devil took off with that one. Like I said before, I started questioning whether or not I was ENOUGH. I questioned my abilities. I doubted myself, but that’s not even the worst part because when I did that I was inadvertently doubting God.
I kept thinking poor me when I should have been looking to him. Y’all I fail many times. We all fall back into those patterns of self-doubt and I don’t know if it’s just me, but I always forget that we have an awesome God. He looks past all our sins and everything we lack and he says there is someone that doesn’t realize it yet, but I am going to do great things with.
Look at Peter. Just a fisherman with a net and Jesus saw him, looked past that, and used him to change the world. Jesus told him he was going to be a fisher of men and took him to amazing places. I am a Peter. Imperfect and probably not having all the right qualifications, but I am learning to say Here I am Lord, use me.
I just want to encourage everyone that you aren’t the only one feeling like everyone has their life together while you are falling behind. You aren’t the only one wondering if you’re ENOUGH. We have to wake up! The Lord is telling each of us that we are ENOUGH. We are ENOUGH because he says we are. We don’t have to earn his love or approval. He sees us for who we are and where we are and he still says that he is going to use us and he’s going to use us for something big. We just have to let go and let God. Cheesy I know, right but so true guys.
Have a great week!
Kaya 🙂
