A wise man once said, “It’s not about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward.” This is a quote made by one of my all time favorite heavyweight champions, Rocky Balboa. I didn’t hop on the Rocky train until very recently. My best friend LOVES THEM. I have many memories of car conversations turning into a fun facts sessions, watching the fight scenes, etc. He can quote the entire Rocky Balboa monologue– it’s insane. But, because of my best friend, I have found a new love for the Rocky movies.
Now, why would I title this blog ‘Butterflies’ and start with a Rocky Balboa quote? Well, let me tell ya.
These past few days have been especially hard. I have been in a state of grief. I’m grieving my old self. I miss her old ways and the things she would do, but the person God is molding me to be is so much better than who I was before.
I got a really sweet image as I was describing this to some teammates:
There are four stages of life for a butterfly. The first stage is the egg, then the caterpillar, then pupa, then the Butterfly is a butterfly! Looking at my faith life this way; I see the egg stage as baby christian Katie, not really understanding a whole lot about Jesus but livin’ life anyways and having a great time. The caterpillar stage is when I really took Him seriously, when I was learning about Jesus and making my relationship with Him personal and forming an idea of who God is and how big He is. Then you get to the pupa stage, the chrysalis. Here’s where it gets crazy. Inside the chrysalis, the caterpillar starts changing and molding and growing and, boy oh boy, is that where I’m at. Thailand has been my chrysalis.
These past 2 months have been groundbreaking in my relationship with the Lord. He is constantly breaking my walls and showing me how cool he is. God has really been breaking every box I had put him in and, wow, it rocked my world. He broke chains. He allowed my heart to forgive people I didn’t think I’d ever be able to. God is so freakin’ cool, man.
After our first day of ministry, I got home and prayed probably the most specific prayer of my life. I asked God to show me a butterfly as a sign of reassurance. Reassurance that he loves me and that I’m exactly where I need to be. Since I prayed that prayer, I have seen a butterfly every single day. Whether it’s in person, on instagram, a picture, there has been one in my everyday life.
I then realized that I’m a butterfly.
God is molding me into the beautiful creature he made me to be. He shows me that reminder everyday. He has me in a chrysalis and when He says I’m ready, I will come out a beautiful butterfly.
I will come out as someone who will walk in total freedom.
Free of shame.
Free of judgement.
Free of fear.
Free of any chains that hold me down.
I will know, in my heart,He loves me.
He sees me.
He fights for me.
He isn’t ashamed to call me daughter.
I am His, totally and completely.
I wouldn’t say I’m out of the chrysalis quite yet, but I am well on my way. And wow. What a ride it has been.
So, back to Rocky, why did I use that quote in the first place? I feel like this is something God has been saying to me and in that process, He’s showing me I’m a lot stronger than I give myself credit for. I have been given some PUNCHES in my 19 years, let me tell ya. But ya know what? Keep ‘em coming. God has given me an immense amount of strength and I can take anything anyone throws my way.
That’s comin’ from the butterfly who’s about ready to burst.
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Our time in Thailand is done! Wow! So crazy! Thankful for these hard last couple months! God is so cool man. All I can say is wow.
I’m $2,024 away from being fully funded! If I get fully funded by Thanksgiving, I’m going to dye my hair PINK!! Sorry mom…
But yes! I want to say thank you to everyone who has donated and to everyone who supports me. If you haven’t, I ask that you prayerfully consider it.
Also, if you want to chat, please feel free to shoot me an email! I’d love to talk to you more about what I’m doing specifically and answer any questions you have, especially because everything we are doing here is so cool
Thank you for all the love and support!
All my love always
Katie <3
