This week has been one of the hardest so far..
Monday night I began to feel very overwhelmed and homesick. I called my mom and we talked through it, then I began to share with my leader and team that I was struggling. They have all come around me and been very encouraging and supportive. I know that Satan was just trying to get in my head to stop me from doing what God has called me to do for these 3 months. Tuesday morning I began to feel better but still struggled throughout the day. After morning session I took some time to listen to my pastors sermon from this past week and he began to talk about Nehemiah 3 and how the people were faithful to begin building the wall not even knowing how long it would take, then they were faithful to finish it. God began to show me that He has called me to this and regardless of if it’s 3 months or 3 years I should be faithful to finish the task He has given me. Tuesday night came and I began to feel super overwhelmed and homesick again, to the point that I was thinking “I don’t know how I am going to make it 3 months…” I went to my leader again and just let her know where I was with it. Again I felt better once I woke up on Wednesday morning. After lunch I listened to my pastors sermon from 2 weeks ago and in it he talked about Nehemiah 2 and how Nehemiah had to wait 4 months on God to show him what was next. Through that God began to tell me “I’ve called you to 3 months. Through this I am going to show you what’s next and I am going to draw you closer to me so that you fully depend on me in everything.” My pastor said that it took Nehemiah 4 months of brokenness for God to bring him from a cupbearer to civil engineer. He said that bringing us closer to God usually means brokenness and that it was in Nehemiah’s brokenness that God prepared him for the next season. That is what this week has been for me.
A time of brokenness.
A time to depend on God.
A time to lean on Him first.
A time to learn to lean on my team.
