Swazi is honestly a very hard language to try to learn. They make certain clicks and sounds that we don’t make, which makes it such a fun language to just sit a listen to. I absolutely love it. Honestly the only word I can consistently remember/ pronounce is YEBO…..yes explanation point….The way they use yes is not the way we use yes. They use it as yes, but they also use it for everything else kind of like an “amen” almost. It is a yes plus some, yes exclamation point.
The whole first month on the world race, I have been striving for a head to heart faith. This means that I don’t just know the Gospel and my ABBA’s love for me in my mind, but also have it written on my heart. To get this firey, all consuming type of faith, I have been praying to let the Holy Spirit take captive of my thoughts, my heart, and everything I am. The Lord has opened my eyes to just how self centered I really am. Being on the race, I have realized most of my thoughts are all about me, and my desires. We live in such an independent society that only cares about being happy. Our goal in life is to be content, but yet we live for ourselves and waste our time with such fleeting, non purposeful things. Something the Lord has really placed on my heart is dying to my self, so I can live for Him and His purpose for me. I tend to forget that my breath is not my breath. Everything I have and everything that I am , was given to me by the Lord for His purpose that He picked out just for me. Something that blows my mind is that I am just a very small part in His plan for all of eternity, but He loves me like I am His only child. He is a God that is able to give His whole entire heart to every single person, even when they don’t even believe in Him. Why would I not give my WHOLE heart, MY EVERYTHING to someone who not only made me, but loves me unconditionally?
I have learned a way to die to the flesh, and live for the spirit is to live with a YEBO! mind set. Not just giving the Lord a yes exclamation point, but a yes exclamation point, exclamation point. What ever He calls me to big or small, I want to follow with an enthusiastic YES!! No fear, no doubts, no questioning, no groaning, nothing but YEBO! Saying yes time and time again to the Lord is how we are to build a lasting faith in Him. The more we give up and rely on Him, the more we trust Him, because He always comes through. He is inviting us in to His blessings and promises. Following the Lord will not always be easy, but it will ALWAYS be fruitful.
I write all of this to explain what I am about to do. Something the Lord has convicted me of is my love for food. I think about it way too much. My squad mentor, Jill, once said “the kids at our care point eat to live and we live to eat.” This has stuck with me, because it is so true. We eat some much variety, and such big portions just for the sake of it. We eat for comfort. We eat when we are bored. Nothing is wrong with loving food. It is when you idolize it that it becomes a problem. The Lord has placed on my heart a seven day fast. The first three days will be a water fast, and the last four days will be a juice fast. When I normally would be eating on those days, I will be spending time with the Lord letting Him fill me up. The Lord has called me to do this, and I know that he will sustain me. I promise I will be wise, and seeking console from people who have done a long fast before. I tell you this, because I need prayer warriors to help me get through this. Please pray that the Lord sustains my energy to continue to give my all to the kids at the care point. Please pray I go into it, keeping an expectant heart knowing that the Lord will show up in His timing, and pray I don’t get discouraged if He does not show up right when I want Him to. I will start this fast on October 16, which is next Wednesday, and it will go until October 23. If you have done a long fast before, and have any tips please email me at [email protected]. I need all the encouragement I can get!! I can not do this on my own, so thank you for your prayers. I can not wait to tell you all that the Lord does during this fast!
I wanted to share with you an exert from the book called “The Divine Conquest” by A.W. Tozer. It is such a powerful book. It is a road map into leading you in finding genuine faith and freedom in the Lord. I highly suggest it 100% In this exert, He is describing what it is like to truly life a spirit filled life. I really like what he says, because he does not sugar coat it. He tells what it is like to live for the Cross, and die to yourself.
“If the spirit takes charge of your life He will expect unquestioning obedience in everything. He will not tolerate self-love, self-pity, self-seeking, self-confidence, self-righteousness, self-aggrandizement, self-defense. You will find the spirit to be in sharp opposition to the easy ways of the world and of the multitude within the precincts of religion. He will be jealous over you for good. He will not allow you to boast or swagger or show off.He will take direction of your life away from you. He will reserve the right to test you, to discipline you, to chase you for your soul’s sake. He may strip you of many of those borderline pleasures which other Christians enjoy but which are to you a source of refined evil. Through it all He will enfold you in a love so vast, so mighty, so all embracing, so wondrous that your very losses will seem like gains and your small pains like pleasures. “
