So today I was able to sit in worship and really just sing and worship the overall grace and beauty of our Lord Jesus. While singing my mind wondered to the verse that mentions the desires of my heart. This was mentioned in Psalm 38:9. For me, I have decided to surrender all of them. Life is fleeting, I could die tomorrow and this list would mean nothing. However, It is a list that I surrender and just sees how far he is willing to take me and provide for according to his will. If some of the things don’t work out that doesn’t change my heart on whether or not if he is faithful or good. Because he is both always and forever. 

I’m letting yall in on this list, and want yall to that it isn’t complete. I will either take from it or add to it. I will celebrate and praise when I see things fulfilled and be willing to take away things that I see hurting my walk with God. Feel free to pray for them, against, or suggest some. In the end, I want a stronger relationship with God and to see 1-5 for sure answered. Thank you for your time.

The longing of my heart:
 
1. Serving you and having a relationship with you beyond ask and hope to receive.
 
2. Show me what it means to seek with all my heart
 
3. I want a complete dependency on you 
 
4. I want a back and forth relationship where we talk and respond. Not a supply and demand relationship.
 
5. Seeing all my friends family becoming faithful believers or develop a closer relationship. 
 
6. Being like David, Job, and Peter/Paul
 
7. Becoming a Green Beret, Delta, HRT
 
8. Starting a business to prepare missionaries on survival skills
 
9. Serving my church through missions
 
10. Have a family of 6 or 8 mostly boys with at most two Girls
 
11. Becoming physically strong like Samson 
 
12. Being healthy disease  free and fertile so I can purse these things 
 
13. Free from sweets and unhealthy foods
 
14. Free from a heart that hesitates 
 
15. The misconception that I have to do it alone and that I have to be strong enough for everyone