“Be Bold Jess. Let go and have confidence that I will provide for you”. God has constantly been putting this on my heart; “Be bold Jess” in your life and in your relationships with others.
I have never been good at trust and have always struggled with allowing myself to be vulnerable. Because of this I realize that I had fallen into the mindset that relying on myself was better than being let down by the people around me. I had put up a wall thinking that somehow it was protecting me. I started to believe that vulnerability was weakness. I only allowed God to have parts of my life but not everything.
This wall I had put up was demolished by Gods constant pursuit of me even when I tried to distance myself from him. I have come to realize that God calls out the best in me, He sees my weaknesses but does not let them define me. He uses my struggles to draw me closer to him. I have found myself constantly looking for God because of his unwavering love for me. A love I can’t find in anyone but Him.
I’ve decided to no longer allow fear to define my choices but instead walk with God in reckless abandon for the plans He has for me. Walking with God is scary because it causes me to look inwardly and discover the pieces within me that need growth. Being comfortable is safe but I am called to be more than this, I am called to follow Him wherever He may lead me. This means having faith that He will provide and acting boldly according to this truth.
The World Race is where I feel God is calling me to serve. I was frightful at first of even applying because I wasn’t sure about fundraising and what my future would look like after graduation. These fears held me back from even completing my application and for weeks after this, I knew I had made a mistake. I was frustrated because I had let fear stop me from being bold in my faith.
At this point I thought that the window had closed and was really disappointed. But then, I came to realize that I actually hadn’t missed the window and that I had two more days to apply. I submitted my final application and was nervous I wasn’t even going to be accepted. In that moment of uncertainty I decided to pray instead of worry. God reminded me through this prayer, “Why would I worry? If God wants me here he will provide a way for me to go. I have no reason to worry because I have no control.”
Philippians 4:6-7 says this —
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
And His promises came through, as steadfast as His love for me. I made a conscious decision to cast my cares on the Lord and twenty minutes later I received a phone call with my acceptance to the World Race. I was overwhelmed with peace and reassurance that God had me exactly where He wanted me. He is more powerful than my worries and He will always provide as long as I trust in Him. I am so excited to start this journey and looking forward to sharing what the Lord does in my life, every step of the way.
