Seek Him FIRST, find JOY
My daughter has asked me to write a blog about how the Lord has been moving in my life since she left. First off, I am not a writer (so go easy on me). Secondly, I’m a very private person.
Honestly, in the first few months, I didn’t really notice much difference… I wasn’t really worried about Heather but I missed her… ALOT.
I became a little stagnant, maybe even stuck? Both daughters dominated my thoughts. I wondered so many things… When would they call next? Would I hear the phone ring? Would I miss their call? Were they well? Were they getting enough to eat? How was the Lord using them in the lives of those around them? Were they allowing the Lord to use them? On and on…
The house is so quiet without their laughter and silly sense of humor. A couple of my fondest memories involve them singing together in my kitchen or us all playing multi-solitare together, laughing till we cry.
I honestly got a little depressed when my kids wouldn’t call or would take so long in between calls. I knew they were doing their own thing but I took it personally and satan loved it.
Then YAHWEH took this very opportunity to show me something. He began to reveal something slowly. YAHWEH told me my children were my “heart idols…” that I was holding them above the Lord. I went to sleep thinking about them. When I woke, they were the FIRST thing on my mind.
YAHWEH is a jealous, loving God. He loves us so deeply and He desires that we Love Him FIRST.
Growth is never painless and it never ends. I am learning to think of Him FIRST and LAST. He is the Alpha and the Omega. He is showing me that I need to love Him and that all other earthly relationships should come second to Him.
All this has shown me a JOY and peace that I have never experienced before. I know, now, this joy that can only be felt in His presence… only when we seek Him FIRST.
India:
In a million years, I never thought I would be be spending $$$$ traveling to the other side of the world to take cold showers and walk along dusty roads, but in less than six weeks the Lord will be sending me to India. I will be walking along side Heather in her ministry for a few days.
I told the Lord, “I’m terrified of traveling and of traveling alone…” He sent travel partners… Then I said, “We do not have the money…” He provided… I said, “But my husband wont want me to go…” He laughed and immediately softened my husband’s heart. “But the house needs repairs…” He quieted those thoughts.
So, here I am Lord, send me.
