Note to my friends & family before reading:
This may be a lot to read and process. I ask you, I urge you to take it to the Lord and pray. So many of you have journeyed and supported me so much over the years, especially in the midst of trials in this last year. I want to say, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support and love and encouragement.
As I write this, I’m praying for you all who will read it, for the Father to cover you with His sweet peace and understanding. I pray our story will be blessing to you and something that brings you closer to the Father and not a hindrance or a stumbling block. I love you all. Thank you for reading!
-Hannah
Testimony of this Last Year
June 9th, 2018 was supposed to be my wedding day. Six weeks before, I had to call it off because my fiancé, Elliott, had relapsed on heroin. I was devastated and heartbroken. We had planned our futures to be dedicated to serving others and to ministry. My five year plan went out the door.
I was confused why the Lord would allow this to happen when we were wanting our marriage to be a partnership in ministry.
At this time, I still had a good job that I loved and was in the middle of my MBA program; but, I was also in the midst of an intense heartbreak and lonely because the majority of my friends were moving away and towards their post-graduation plans. I was now living in a place that was supposed to be “our first house together”; it was now just “my house” and became the place that I felt so much loneliness. This is where the Lord found me. He was the only place I could lean on.
I found Jesus in my brokenness and reestablished my relationship with Him like never before. He poured so many blessings out onto me this past year: a wonderful & unexpected roommate, a loving community, and new opportunities!
He is the Prince of Peace and the Great Comforter.
And, He had other plans for me. With my new found singleness, I knew this was the opportunity to finally go overseas to the mission field. I never would have left for the World Race if I had gotten married last year.
And in this past year, I met the Holy Spirit, and my whole life CHANGED! I know I am right where I am supposed to be, living at the center of His love.
Late July 2019
Fast forward a year: a week before leaving for the Word Race, the Lord confirmed through several people in many ways- dreams, words from the Lord, inner witness, and many signs of confirmation- that Elliott is the one I am to marry.
I was as shocked as you are. Actually, I was probably the most shocked- which is why I didn’t tell almost anyone outside of my WR family until now.
The Holy Spirit is such a new concept and the spiritual gifts are an even newer concept for my family and I to wrap our heads around, yet God chose to use so many different avenues through the Spirit to lead us all to the same conclusion. There is so much more to the story than what is below but to give you a glimpse into what I experienced that week…
The Week The Lord Spoke
Sunday
The week started with my mom and I on our Mother/Daughter cruise! We wanted to have some quality time together before I left for the World Race. During the cruise, she kept randomly mentioning Elliott. Which, if you know my mom, you know that she has not been a huge fan of Elliott or our relationship in the past. She was relieved when we broke up. I found it odd that she kept randomly bringing him up. He was one of the last things on my mind at that point. At one point, she even asked me if Elliott and I were to get back together when we would get married? I was like…what? I haven’t spoken to him in almost two months.
All of the conversations sent me into this deep sadness for him that I hadn’t experienced in a long time…so I poured out my heart to the Lord that last night of the cruise. I wrote my prayer to Jesus that night about all of my fears and insecurities of going on the Race and about Elliott. I asked for the Lord to heal him completely- to take this addiction away…that I give him completely to the Lord. I prayed for the Lord to reveal who I was to marry and to settle the question and chaos in my heart.
Tuesday
Two days later, my good friend and squadmate, Jewel and I were talking over video chat about packing for the Race. We spoke about preparing to leave, and I shared with her my struggle with thinking about Elliott because of all my mom mentioned on the cruise. She said that we would pray through it together! She later brought up The Circle Maker and asked if I had read it- I told her that I LOVED it, and it changed my whole perspective on prayer. She shared with me that the Lord often gives her words and knowledge of things that will happen before they do, but that she did not often share that with people. I encouraged her to share more, like what an exciting gift of the spirit!
That same night…I received a text out of the blue from Elliott’s mom, Cindy.
“I got to talk to Elliott and he wanted me to tell you that he read “The Circle Maker” and it is a game changer. He said he is praying for you. He is doing well physically and spiritually.”
My heart jumped out of my chest, and I lost my breath for a second. I was like WHAT? This was sent on the same day that Jewel and I had just been talking about Elliott and The Circle Maker…
(I later found out that Cindy was supposed to have sent this text several weeks before– but just so happened to remember to send it that night)
So, I instantly screenshotted (of course) the message to Jewel…and she was shook too! We decided to both go and pray together over this and see if meant anything or was a coincidence.
After a few minutes of praying, Jewel and I talked again. My prayer had just been “What?”– literally… I was like “Jesus, what? Does this mean something”?
Jewel then spoke and said….she didn’t even know how to say it. She said when she tried to begin praying out loud—all she could hear was “He’s the one. He’s the one.” She said she had not felt that kind of confirmation or message from the Lord in a long time.
I was shocked– I was expecting the opposite response from her, but I instantly felt this crazy amount of peace over me. It was the strangest thing…I had not spoken to Elliott in probably a month and a half. So I prayed for confirmation from the Lord after receiving these words from Jewel. I prayed for specific signs to confirm if this was from God. And every single one has come to pass.
For example, one was that Elliott and I had not spoken since the beginning of June when all of this occurred. With the program that he was in, he didn’t have phone access for at least two months.
So I prayed for a very difficult sign from the Lord to confirm it. I was told that he didn’t have phone service and wasn’t supposed to for a few weeks more. So my prayer was for Elliott to reach out to me if this was truly from God.
Friday
That week, the Lord had been waking me up at 7am for some reason. I wasn’t sure why, so I just prayed every morning and went back to sleep. Three mornings after the night that Jewel received the word from the Lord, and I prayed the prayer for confirmation…the Lord woke me up at 7am yet again to pray. So I did.
This morning in particular though I felt Elliott had been put on my heart to pray for. So I did. An hour later, I woke up to… a message from Elliott!
It was like a WOW WHAT, kind of reaction in my spirit with a huge mix of CRAZY PEACE!
His first message to me was that he read The Circle Maker and was experiencing prayer in a whole new way! (which was a whole other point of confirmation). Our first conversation was about the Holy Spirit…and I told him I was just rebaptized and now exposed to the spiritual gifts for the first time!
He was shook because that is exactly what he was recently exposed to and had just begun to pray for confirmation if all of it was true or not. And then he was in awe that I answered his prayer without him even asking.
Other confirmations followed…
My sister received the same dream multiple times of her welcoming Elliott back into our family.
My mom told my dad several weeks before that she knew Elliott was going to be back in our lives; she felt it in her spirit.
Many wonders and confirmations happened on his side as well. But that is his story for another time. 🙂
Today
I realized quickly into our conversation that it was for our good that we did not get married last year. The Lord used the breakup and all of the turmoil to get ahold of my life and fill me with His living water. He exposed me to the Holy Spirit like I had never been before…He’s provided mentors and leaders to walk me through this new life and operate in the Holy Spirit. He used my brokenness to lead me back to full dependence on Him. I have become hungrier for the Lord and for His will to be done. He had to bring me here to fully experience Him.
Elliott and I may be thousands of miles apart, but we cannot deny what the Lord has spoken and placed on our hearts.
I continue to give all of the glory and honor to Him, in all that I do. I have open hands and an open heart…and we are both just excited to see where He takes us.
Please pray and intercede for us, covering our relationship and Elliott’s recovery with so much prayer. The Lord is doing a good work in both of us, individually and together. I’m not sure where He will lead us yet, but I know it’ll be for Him alone.
In Christ,
Hannah
