I have to share an amazing thing that happened in my heart this past week and, truth be told, it is a little scary. It’s scary to put your heart on a webpage for all to read, but God’s love is shown through testimony, and if the Lord is trying to use me to share the gospel, there is nothing I would rather do so bare with me.
A few days ago at worhsip we were singing a song, and if I am honest I can’t even remember the name of the song, but all of a sudden I got this urge to pray. So I closed my eyes and bowed my head and started talking to God. I kept asking over and over again for God to take my shame away, to take my hurt away, to take all of the things that I wish I could sweep under the rug and never speak of away. I wanted to lay down my heart at the foot of the cross. I pray this everymorning, every single morning. For God to help me lay it down but I am not sure I had ever truely felt the extent of God’s love until this moment. The Lord told me “Silly girl, pick up your worth and know that you are mine.” and he didnt just say it once, he said it over and over again. All of a sudden something clicked in my heart. It finally set it that after all this time I was laying down my life at the foot of the cross each morning but I was failing to pick up my worth and authority that is given to me through God. I wasnt taking my portion. He had this huge gift lying before me and it was just then that I was able to pick it up. I wasent holding on to my shame like i thought, i just wasent being filled with God’s goodness which was leaving me feeling weird and jumbeled up inside.
I could never accept the fact that I was loved becasue satan had told me over and over again for years that I was not worth it. That I was too meek, to shy, to broken. But I am here to say that satan is a liar.
I am worthy and I am redeemed from the brokenness that was put on me and I never have to play that down because it is a gift from my heavenly father that never waivers.
