So it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything and I feel like it’s time to share why and share my heart. So bare with me while this gets very raw for a moment.
I’ve been struggling. A lot. I have been going back and forth for quite some time recently on if I should do the race or if I shouldn’t. I’ve been feeling like I wont be able to raise the money. Feeling like I’m not good enough for it. All of these thoughts come through my mind everyday. But in the midst of all that running through my mind, I still hear God calling me. He calls me in so many different ways and I am finally starting to hear. I scroll through social media and see past racers, current racers, and my squad mates all posting stuff. I get such joy in my heart when I see that stuff. I’m so thankful I’ve followed all these people throughout the years. It gives me that reassurance that this is what I’ve been wanting for so long. Another way I’ve heard God recently is through dreams. Now I’ve had world race dreams in the past but just last night I had another one that brought me back to planning for this trip. It was me and all my squad mates serving. Never before have I had dreams with the actual people I’ll be with for this year but I finally did. And let me tell you, that was a sweet sweet feeling.
Satan works in ways that I do not understand. He will tell us we are worthless, pathetic, not good enough, and so many other things. He has put into my mind all the things I will miss while being gone. Births, weddings, friends, family, and who knows what all else. He put into my mind that I will never be able to raise the money and thats one that has stung the most. I’m here months later and still have not raised any support. This feeling is hard. But I trust God. I know God wouldn’t call me to this for a reason. So while Satan is kicking me down, I’m turning to God. I’m turning it all over to God. This is my public declaration that God will win. My battle with Satan is a hard one and a never ending one, but God Will Win!
All this being said, I would love it if you decided to help support me in this journey. Even if I just get one person who decides I’m worth supporting will help me push forward. $1 or $100 or however much helps so much. Pray I trust God and pray for peace. Thank you all for the support you’ve given me throughout my life and while I continue on in life.
