These past few weeks I’ve been learning to just let things be. Coming into the race I had some expectations I honestly didn’t even know I had. If I’m being real, I thought after just a week here I would have completely changed, but I didn’t. Sure, I’ve been learning a lot and growing a lot but I’m still Emily. Which was weirdly disappointing. I would spend so much time with God and in the word but not always for the right reasons. I was trying so hard to find something that would change and wreck me and I was disappointed that I wasn’t finding it. So, after having some really good conversations with some of my teammates and the Lord, I learned that I need to stop constantly searching. Not like completely to stop but just soak in every word I’m reading and hearing, so that I can truly take in what it means instead of breezing through it. Something we learned at learning camp is called Discovery Bible Study. Where we split into our team and just reach one chapter from the Bible and just dig into it and just talk about what it means, reword it in our own words and then see how we can apply it to our lives. It has really changed the way I read my bible. Sometimes I just read chapter after chapter not always understanding what is going on but I need to slow down and just pursue understanding. I feel like that can be applied into my everyday life. Instead of rushing through everything constantly searching for something that I can’t understand. Reading chapter after chapter just to say you did it. I should just read one chapter at a time and then read it again and again soak it up and understand it. I’m not entirely sure if this makes sense but it’s just what I’m feeling.
So, I guess my whole point is, if I’m constantly searching to changed, to be overtaken by the Lord, I need to stop trying so hard. Just sit with Him and He will open my eyes. If I’m constantly looking and waiting for something, I might not see it when its right in front of me.
Love,
Emily<3
