Lies spoken over me settled into my foundation, and on that foundation I constructed who I thought the world wanted me to be.
I put up the weight bearing walls of my heart with crooked boards, but I covered up the instability with a thin layer of sheetrock…
I picked a warm and inviting color for each room, but would leave an accent wall that sent messages of “I’m okay” and “I don’t need you…”
I wanted to invite people in, but was sure to lay down hardwood so they never thought I was too soft…
I put a seat in every room for people to stay, but not too many and never too close to each other…
I invited others to break bread in the dining room, but never asked them to linger over a cup of coffee…
And then one day I realized how cold and empty my house turned out to be.
The Lord could have helped me deconstruct everything piece by piece, but instead He hauled into my subdivision and took a wrecking ball to me and my foundation. You know, like He does. So then… for a while I was homeless.
Who am I? What’s my foundation? What are my true colors? Who are my real friends? Who do I invest in? What’s right and what’s wrong?
I ran through these questions for a solid 6 months before the Lord calmed my spirit and gently said to me, “I AM.”
And with that one statement, he calmed the storm that was within.
I AM your home. I AM your foundation. I AM the color you should paint yourself. I AM your friend. I AM the investment.
So here I sit. Living out of a backpack. Sleeping wherever I’m told. Eating whatever is put in front of me. With people that I’ve only known for 4 months. In a country that’s 98% non-Christian.
So I’ve learned to trust where He leads, because the Lord called me to be homeless and somehow I’ve never felt more at home.
~I started the blog post back in November when I was still moody and brooding and not quite sure about what life was handing me… but I stumbled across it this week and thought it was so sweet how the Lord redeemed it all, so it took a happy turn after all…~
