Okay God, what just happened.
If y’all read my last post you know what training camp is all about. Bonding and worship and cultural training and stuff. I thought I was good…prepared…ready for anything…but I was WRONG. Nothing could have prepared me for those 10 days, and here’s why:
- God showed me baggage I didn’t even realize I had. He dug deep into my heart, and He unpacked all those boxes that I shoved into the shadows and far corners. He took each insecurity, each failure, each flaw…He held it up to the light (HA, himself), and He spoke truth over all of it. Truth that I’m seen, I’m known, I’m loved, I’m forgiven.
- I learned what it means to have Sabbath rest. In a life where I’m always so busy busy busy and silence is awkward and uncomfortable, I’m learning to draw near to God. To sit with Him, to pull into Him, and when it gets dry and boring…to stay.
- I forgave. That’s all I really have to say about that one…I couldn’t pick which bullet points to write down from my notes, so here’s the whole page: “Not forgiving says the payment was good enough for God, but not for me. If you don’t forgive, it will harbor bitterness and resentment towards anyone that reminds you of the person you haven’t forgiven. When you walk in unforgiveness you empower the wound that they left in you and the lie they left in you. By not forgiving, I’m keeping myself in bondage because the Lord has already opened the door.” Resonate with anyone? It struck me again as I was typing it. Dang.
- I got to do street evangelism for the first time, and it rocked! It was a new experience and I seriously was scared to death, but the Lord worked through us and even gave us a little blessing along the way.
- I got to rededicate my faith! They told us that we had the option, and they told us to come prepared with a towel and dry clothes if we wanted to. I absolutely wasn’t planning on getting baptized again that night, so duh I didn’t bring a change of clothes…but at the end of our time, I felt the Holy Spirit SO strongly…so I listened. I climbed into the baby pool in my jeans, got dunked by my sweeeeeet sweet Brittany, and shivered my butt off knowing that there’s no turning back. I’m all in.
Last but not least. I learned….that I…..have….THE…best squad ever.
The Past year has been really lonely. I lost my tribe, and I lost myself. So I asked God to surround me with people on fire. Literally that’s what I prayed…and BOY did He deliver. *cue the tears*
S squad. Sojourners. My new family. These are 40 people who live in reckless abandon for the Lord. 40 people whose hearts are immeasurable. 40 of the goofiest, quirkiest, most lovable people I’ve ever met. 40 of the deepest, most real, honest, and raw people I’ve ever met. 40 people who are ON. FIRE. and they can’t be stopped.
So to God, thank you for never ceasing to amaze and pursue me. To my squad, you’ll never know just what a blessing you are to my heart. To everyone else, thanks for taking time to read my words.
