I have always wanted to be able to describe the father, but always my words seem to fail me. Yet last week as I taped a piece of paper with a strip of yellow on it and a title of “my favorite color” the Lord opened up to me and allowed me to write a poet description of who the father is to me. A Psalm of sorts if you dig.
“Thank you, Jesus, for radiant colors. For the way you have created life to reflect your creativity. For the way light catches & Reflects colors. The spectrum of color is never ending, there are always deeper shades, lighter shades, mixed colors – the same goes for you father. There is always deeper depth to you, however, you will always be my favorite color. The way you show up without being asked, in the wildflowers, in the corn, in the unexpected splitting of light. You are everywhere, yet still so mysterious, still so wonder-filled. You are the Mostaza – no – you are el dorado; golden. There is none higher, there is no other worthy. You exist not to merely be loved, but to be found. Kings and Queens adorned you on their heads. You are mineral, you are honey; sustenance, you are anointing of oil, you are uncontrollable joy, you are a warm sun beating down on chilled bones, you are everything this world knows as valuable – you are all these things and you are none of these things, your identity extends far beyond my vocabulary. So, I will remain faithful in trusting that when the words of my mouth fail; the praises of my spirit will not, because my spirit has encountered yours and therein lies no other choice but to drape a vail over my face for your glory confounds even the mortal. The way you speak to me is not in syntactical pattern of 26 letters, but instead in the beating of my heart to know you more, in the joyful mourning of winter seasons, and in the redemptive blood of your beloved son, so that I too may know what it means to be beloved, to be your daughter, to declare you my king and place the crown you have bestowed upon me at your feet. Amen.”
This is who the father is to me, but who is he to you? Have you ever asked him to reveal to you his goodness? I encourage you to open your heart to the ways he is working in your life. Our relationship with the Lord is so intimate and personal that I couldn’t describe him for you, you must describe him for yourself – but don’t worry he is everywhere. He is in the first breath of your baby girl as you hold her in your arms, he is in the reunion and reconciliation of old friendships, he is in that one long drive with the windows down and your hair being blown in the wind, he is in the sun, the trees, and he is in you – open your heart to recognizing his presence.
Father I pray you make me more sensitive to your spirit than to my own breath, more sensitive than I am to my own heartbeat.
Taking-in-my-last-days-in-Guat,
El
