But none of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy, and the ministry, which I have received of the Lord Jesus, to testify the gospel of the grace of God.
Acts 20:24 KJV
This evening I am led to learn more about what it means to “be called”. This concept has come up a couple of different times over the past few weeks. I often struggle to fulfill the expectations I have for spending time with God. A friend tonight told me that he thinks I have unrealistic expectations for myself, and I told him that I think that God is calling me to spend such time with Him because it is necessary for where He is leading. I felt God tell me once that I need to have a complete understanding of His will in order to do what He is calling me to. In relation to our cultural norms and lack of prioritization of God, these expectations may seem unrealistic by an outsiders perspective, however each persons walk is different. If God is calling and convicting us to spend more time with Him it is for a reason. On the other hand, I think that God is also allowing the struggle to take this time out for Him to show me that He sees me as worthy regardless of what I “do” or “don’t do,” and that His loving kindness surpasses my actions. He is a God of love and mercy and sometimes failure is an opportunity for Him to show us our worth in a way that success cannot. He is constantly showing me His strength in the midst of my weaknesses. What a blessing it is to learn to live in relationship with the God of all the universe. Learning this is the complete fulfillment of all that He created us to be and more than anything we can see.
