Being grateful is easy to experience when you have nothing. In Africa we didn’t have running water, electricity, or phone service. I felt so close to God because I was leaning into Him throughout the day and He was the only one I depended on to get me through the day. To see how much God provided for me, mentally and physical was an overflowing abundance of God’s love. I loved where my relationship with God was and wanted to continue it when I got to Europe and even more when I returned home.
After being in Europe for less then two days, I realized how easy it was for me to push God aside and rely on myself to provide for my needs. Mainly because of how easy it was to get what I wanted. I could find everything I wanted at the local store. I began to wonder what will happen when I have all my physical needs met. How will I depend on God if I have the ability to get what I want by myself. I was nervous about how returning to America was going to be because I don’t have to be satisfied with little.
I realized that I didn’t have a reason to rely on God in Europe. I didn’t read my bible or pray for the first couple days. I was disappointed in myself because of how fast I forgot about how much I needed him. I am grateful for a God and that He will always continue to pick me first. I often need to be reminded of that because it can be so easy to forget. Thank God for His grace.
This has me asking myself this question. Why do I need to have my things stripped away in order to realize what I am grateful for? The virus ripped the last three months right out of my hands. The last week was so crazy and happened so quickly that I didn’t have a chance to process anything. And as a result I just felt numb. So my first night back to the states was filled with mixed emotions. In this moment, why was it so hard to remember what God has done for me in the past eight months?
Instead of focusing on things I don’t have, I’m going to focus on what I do have. I am overwhelmed and grateful for all the love and support I have from my friends and family. I’m grateful for all the healing that happened in my heart and now I am excited to help others. I’m grateful for God taking away my anxiety. I’m grateful for all of the people I got to meet all around the world. I’m grateful for my squad and the leaders and now I have family all over the America. I love you guys!
I know in this moment it seems like the race was a finishing point for me but whats next? Isaiah 43:18-19 Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See I’m doing a new things! Now it springs up, do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. I’m going to choose to stand on the promises of the Lord. So for the next season in my life, I have faith that God will continue to top the past and bring me into more depth of who He is.
For the world, this is not the end. The virus isn’t bigger than God. We all just need to depend on God more than ever and remember what He says. At the end of the day, this virus doesn’t effect the ground that the cross stands on. The foot of the cross remains even. I believe great things are going to happen during this time. God planned for families to be together during this time. I believe relationships will be redeemed and time will be restored. Communities are going to come together and so many people will be introduced to the love of Jesus Christ for the first time.
I just want to end with some lyrics from the song Highs & Lows:
“Highs and lows Lord,
You’re with me either way it goes
Should I rise or should I fall
Even so Lord,
Your mercy is an even flow
You’re too good to let me go”
