Hiiiiiiiii! How are all of you? I know life has looked so different and you have probably felt every emotion you ever could in the last few months, but I hope that you have been able to see good come out of this time because Jesus truly has the victory. I also know you thought my last blog was an ending to my time serving with The World Race, as did I, but here we are! There is a leadership opportunity that alumni racers have, and I am saying yes to the Father and yes to this opportunity. I want to share with you how I got here, but first, where I am headed!
I am headed to…. Costa Rica and Guatemala, or maybe even Gainesville, GA! I am going to be what is called an Alumni Team Leader (ATL) and I will be helping disciple and walk along side of this years gap year squad. I will be serving with them for three months and the plan is to go overseas, however, if that is not possible, we will be learning, growing, and serving in Georgia! I am so excited about this opportunity, and want to invite you to journey with me, yet again!
I want to invite you into my heart, even the ugliest parts of it, and share with you how I got to this place. As you already know, I am home, but I actually wasn’t supposed to be home until the first week of June. In fact, this week was supposed to be my last week of ministry, and we were going to head to final debrief next week. BUT, I am so thankful for the journey, even when it doesn’t look like it was supposed to, and I am so thankful to have gotten to be with my people two extra months.
I blogged about this at one point, but during my first month on the field, I was angry with God. I quickly realized that living overseas as a missionary wasn’t all that I thought it would be, and I had this deep fear instilled in me that He was going to ask me to eventually do it full time. It was not all I thought it would be, but it was all I need it to be and more. My greatest fear was to Alumni Team Lead because we had ATL’s and that seemed like the most tangible next step. During worship, my squamate had no idea what I was walking in fear about, and she began to pray that my desires would match up with His- wow. That was it! I didn’t want to spend any more time being angry or living in fear about it because if He was going to call me to it, He was going to help change my heart to have a desire to do it. So, over the next few months, that exactly what He did.
Let’s fast forward to mid-point debrief, month 4.5. Our squad mentor came to Ecuador (Jodi Owens, if you’re reading this, I LOVE YOU) and there were rumors going around that she would begin to ask people to pray about this opportunity. They were rumors, so that was not the case, but IF SHE HAD, I would have said yes on the spot. Well, then, the next six weeks were some of the hardest I have experienced. I shared a little bit with you, but I feel really hard, really fast into depression. I had never experienced it in this way, and I didn’t know how to stand. So, at this point I would’ve said yes, but maybe in a different season.
Well, I am in quite a different season and I said YES. Since we came home early and I was going to have some extra time to seek out counseling and walk through this darkness I was feeling, I knew going back out would be a possibility for me. My squad mentor and I each prayed, came back together, and agreed that we could move forward in this “yes.” I am seeking out counseling on a weekly basis, continuing to seek the Father each day, and I am so thankful that His plan is so much greater than mine.
So, I will be posting on social media in the next few days, but I wanted to give you sweet, faithful followers an update first. I will be fundraising, but $2,000 this time instead of almost $17,000 🙂 I want you to know that I see you and hear you and understand that this is a time like no other and you may not be able to financially give which is absolutely okay, but would you join me in prayer? Prayer for wisdom, prayer for my sweet squad, and prayer for the leadership at AIM while they navigate alllll the decisions. Hugs!!!!
Oh, and P.S.: This photo, which inspired this blog title, was taken in Ecuador. My squad did a yearbook and everyone got a superlative- guess what got voted for??? 😉 Yep, most likely to ATL. HOW. FUNNY. IS. GOD!!!!
